Bernard Bar Natan

Undeserved Invitations II

Before anything else, Pals is offered as an alternative label. Palestinians is a long and complicated word, Pals is easier, inherently friendlier. If it catches, with the positive connotation, the Branding will be complete. The world is already treating them as such anyway. There is some slight possibility of being confused with the Society of Friends, whose men are also bearded, and the women likewise dress very modestly, but the similarities pretty much end there; and Quakers and Pals don’t really buggy ride in the same circles.

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) announced that a delegation of Pals athletes has been invited to compete in the upcoming Summer Games, without the necessity for the minimum athletic scores required up until today for all other nations’ athletes. The IOC may also add some new events and modify existing, familiar competitions which would make the Games fairer for the Pals and possibly, probably for other national teams. Many of the new events will have ‘Do-Over’ and ‘Stop the Clock’ provisions. Depending on the teams competing and who’s in the lead, the playing field is ‘leveled or tilted’ subject to perspective and integrity is no longer relevant.

As a first sampling of events under consideration…

Track and Field

By replacing the cannonball of the Shot Put with a stone or brick the Pals should have no difficulty with the event.

The Hammer, basically a cannonball with a tail is easily replaced by today’s familiar mortar shell, RPG, pipe bomb or similar explosive device.

The Javelin and Discus are being planned as drive-by competitions.

To bolster the Pals sense of familiarity, rather than a baton, the 4-person relay race will pass a butcher’s knife secluded in a rolled-up newspaper.

Blond Groping

Based on the Tahrir Square and crowded bazaar indecent acts styles of groping and grabbing, as opposed to the classical Greco-Roman style of petting and pinching, this is a timed event with points awarded for: local or foreign unwilling participant, number of gropes until the scream, scuffle or whistle, the duration of the grope, one or two handed and the grope site on the body. All women and some men have the same point value, with Extra Bonus Points for Natural Blonds.  As a special added incentive, the Finals for the event will be held in one of the Scandinavian countries, whichever one loses the draw, apparently Norway.

The Biathlon has two timed parts; cross-country skiing followed by marksmanship.

The Triathlon has three; running, swimming, cycling.

And now The Palsathlon, with four challenges, combining old and new in the event. Competitors have to descend a 10-meter shaft to an underground tunnel, scurry for 100 to 400 meters, climb up a 10-meter shaft, and shoot an RPG. Descend the shaft and return to the starting point or any UNRWA shaft discovered in the tunnels.

One of the last new major events proposed for the Finals of the Games, with no preliminaries, will be the Decapitation Competition. C’est trés bien et trés apropos that the venue for the inauguration of this event will be Paris, the original home of the National Razor, Madame La Guillotine and Monsieur Charlie Abdo.  A one-man timed competition to Crown the World’s Fastest BeHeader. The clock starts with the sha’hid on his knees and ends with total separation and a shout of Allah Akhbar, which is non mandatory and has no point value. This new head-to-head rivalry could appeal to more than one of the already participating nations, and a fierce, cut-throat competition is expected.

The benefits of inviting a Pals delegation are multiple. Firstly, it makes it fairer for the Pals. It will present the opportunity for constant Israel bashing, Al-Jazeera in your face. For the IOC and the Pals, the economic and commercial benefits are immediate, opening up whole new groups of sponsors and advertisers; arms and munitions companies, kafia and tent manufacturers and kiddie-park train builders.

The IOC is being compliant to the times. Unashamedly political, putting aside sportsmanship and all the individual athletes’ years of sacrifice, training and actual achievements in order to qualify for the Games; international athletic standards are reformed to benefit only one, and lowered for everyone else. Affirmative Action can be a great thing, or a guise for exploitation and ultimately extortion. Like the universities in the USA, a par of shallow mediocrity is being installed.

For the ‘free-thinking academics’ on the campuses, remove the kafia from your eyes and please see a very, very brief historical outline showing the need to make it Fair for the Pals?

In 1920, the British were given a mandate by the League of Nations to supervise the Arab and Jewish inhabitants and develop the area making it ready for self-government. In 1947, the UN, successor to the League of Nations voted to partition the land between the Arab and Jewish inhabitants; it was accepted by the Jews and rejected by the Arabs. In 1948, the day after the British relinquished the mandate, the Jews declared Israel’s statehood, and the day after that, 5+ Arab nations declared war and attacked. They lost. Arab inhabitants fled after hearing the attacking armies on the radio telling the people to leave for their own safety. Some fled out of panic, some left due to the war, some were forced to leave; by far not the majority and many stayed and became citizens. The birth of the Palestinians, the Refugee Babies in temporarily permanent Refugee Camps on both sides of the Jordan River and in Gaza. Jordan and the UN were responsible for the Palestinians in what became known as the West Bank, creating one big refugee camp, likewise by Egypt and the UN in Gaza. In 1951, Jordan’s King Abdallah was assassinated in Jerusalem by a Palestinian. In 1967, Jordan, Egypt and Syria fought Israel and lost. Israel gained control of the West Bank, Gaza and the Golan. More Palestinians ran to Jordan. In September 1970 King Hussein of Jordan, son to the assassinated Abdallah, in order to forestall any threat to his monarchy very forcibly exiled 60,000 to 200,000 Palestinians primarily to Lebanon, killing 5,000 to 25,000 Palestinians in the process. Around here, numbers, statistics, evidence-based facts are speculative suggestions open to different interpretations on different days.

The Pals had Ottomans/Turks on their heads and in their pockets for 400 years. The last 100 years or so, started with 30 years of British bureaucratic effendi who failed to understand the difference between mandate and colony, followed by 20 years of Jordanian and/or Egyptian overlords who couldn’t care less; and lastly Jews who claimed to be socialists, but were really capitalists. To be fair to the Pals, it must be confusing.

The IOC is not really setting any precedent with the invitation of the Pals Team. The Palestinians have been to the Olympics before, during the 1972 Summer Games in Munich. The Black September Group formed to commemorate the expulsion and massacre of Palestinians by an Arab country, killed 11 Israeli athletes at the Games; that really showed the King.

Black September, is that what the opening of the academic year in the USA is going to look and feel like? As there was little education going on during the last two semesters, the student bodies of 2023 – 24 should be ‘left-back’ a year and their parents pay full tuition again to hire new educators, administrators and truant officers. What value is there to an US diploma if the campuses are controlled by obviously paid-for propaganda creating and manipulating the hysteria housed comfortably in cowardly, mercenary institutions? The Ivy League turned out to be a poison vine of deceit, anti-Semitism and malicious collaboration.

Considering the adage; keep your friends close and your enemies closer, the bosom buddy bear hug the Pals are receiving by the world could be seen as a significant ‘Tell’ for other things going on; again clearly, that the hug is strategic and funded, and if it’s bad for the Jews, so much the better.


Jews are smart, and Arabs know how to make a deal. True or False? Using generalizations, stereotypes to prejudge, make assumptions and draw conclusions regarding individuals or groups does not have a nice ring to it, but if you work for the FBI, Google or FB as a Profiler, that sounds better.




About the Author
I was born in NYC in 1954 to a Holocaust Survivor family. I grew up Brooklyn, and was a Yeshivah boy and a member of Betar, I made aliyah on my own at the end of 1979 and have had many positions in IL Jewelry salesman, photographer, police officer, tour guide, and others... I established a medical start-up based on my own invention and made a successful exit. I'm married with 2 kids, a daughter and a son.