Vayigash: The Clarity of Vulnerability

Vayigash is filled with emotion from the outset. Yehudah pleads with the disguised Yosef out of fear for his brother and his father. Ya’akov’s heart grows numb in disbelief when he learns that Rachel’s eldest son is alive. Yosef weeps with great intensity when he reveals himself to his brothers, so much so that his sobs can be heard by his courtiers, news of their existence reaching the Pharaoh’s ears (Gen. 45:1-2). The emphasis the Torah places on Yosef’s emotions here is not the first time we see him display such strong emotion as he meets his brothers again. He turns away from them as Reuven attributes their present suffering to their actions with Yosef earlier (Gen. 42:22-24), and has to leave the room when he meets his mother’s youngest child, Binyamin (Gen. 43:30). Now, as he is about to reveal his true identity to them, he weeps once more, the Torah stating ויתן את-קלי בבכי, ‘and he lifted up his voice, weeping’ (Gen. 45:2).

This sudden public show of vulnerability is curious. Up until this point Yosef has cried in secret, leaving the room; he has hidden behind his disguising role as viceroy of Egypt. Given his brothers’ treatment of him, it is no wonder that Yosef might hide himself – he cannot know if they have changed, if they will continue to see him as an arrogant, disposable figure. He must protect himself emotionally and protect his younger brother from enduring the same fate, which is why he tests them as he does. It is Yehuda’s speech on behalf of all the brothers which makes him certain of the change in their characters, of their remorse and repentance. Recounting Yosef’s test, he describes a dilemma which parallels eerily with the brothers’ earlier dilemma – whether to discard their youngest brother in favor of their own interests. He mentions his father’s apprehension at sending Binyamin to Egypt, borne from his great grief at ‘losing’ Yosef at the hands of his brothers all those years ago. Presented with the chance to make the same terrible choice as before, Yehuda chooses the other path, offering himself up in the place of his brother. According to Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, this moment shows that Yehuda is ‘the first person in the Torah to achieve perfect repentance (teshuva gemura)’, which is defined by the sages in Mishnei Torah Hilkhot Teshuva 2:1 as ‘one who finds himself in a situation to repeat an earlier sin but who does not do so because he is now a changed person’.[1] As the brother who suggested selling Yosef in the first place, Yehuda completely transforms his behavior as he once more acts on behalf of his brothers. As a collective they now understand the gravity of their actions. They are aware of the suffering they caused. It is this realization that allows Yosef to throw off his disguise, washing it away with his tears. He reveals himself in the most vulnerable way possible.

In this pasuk, it can be said that the Torah reveals the extent to which Yosef must mourn before he can embrace his brothers. His defenses down, he now faces his past head on, with the knowledge of what could have been in the years of separation. Though his tears could be read as a rebuke, their very existence telling the brothers much of the consequences of all the traumatic experiences that came from the harrowing moment of being thrown into a pit to be sold into slavery, Yosef chooses to save them from their guilt. He says to his brothers, ועתה | אל-תעצבו ואל-יחר בעיניכם, ‘do not be distressed or reproach yourselves’, telling them instead that it was G-d who sent him to Egypt (Gen. 45:5). These words effectively absolve them, ensuring that ‘the brothers will not have to live under an unbearable burden of guilt for having sold [Yosef] as a slave and deceived their father, causing him years of undiminished grief’.[2] Rather than extend the pain behind his tears beyond this moment, Yosef uses them to heal his connection with his family in ‘the first recorded moment in history in which one human being forgives another’.[3]

Yosef’s vulnerable, unfiltered emotions create a new beginning which is aware of its past, diluting any resentment and anger into love and hope for a better future for their relationships. He recontextualizes the horrors of his past and the role his brothers played in it with the beauty of hindsight, acknowledging that if his brothers had not sent him to Egypt, he would never have been able to save the lives that he did in his management of the famine (Gen. 45:5). In the words of R’ Sacks, Yosef shows that ‘whatever situation we are in, by reframing it we can change our entire response, giving us the strength to survive, the courage to persist, and the resilience to emerge, on the far side of darkness, into the light of a better and new day’.[4] Yosef teaches that the vulnerability of tears can hold a myriad of coexisting emotions – relief, anger, sadness, grief, happiness – and whilst all these emotions are deserving of acknowledgement and attention, it is how we frame them within the context of our lives beyond a single moment that matters most. Whilst we cannot change what happens and we cannot change our past, we can change where we choose to put the most emphasis, where we shed the most light, for it is that light that will keep our continuing paths lit.

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[1] Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Lessons in Leadership, (2015), pg.53

[2] Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Judaism’s Life-Changing Ideas, (2020), pg.54

[3] Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Essays on Ethics, (2016), pg.66

[4] Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Studies in Spirituality, (2021), pg.53