Vows Only to G-d

The subject of making vows is brought up in the beginning of Parshat Matot. It begins with the words, כי תידור נדר לה׳, “If you shall make a vow to Hashem.”

The Rabbis are quick to point out that in order for a vow to have validity, it must be for Hashem. This excludes one who makes a vow in anger. This is certainly very common, when a person promises, vows , or swears, in a fit of anger that he will do, or not do something. This is very bad and probably sinful.

This explains why the Rabbis say that one who vows is considered an evil person, a רשע. They also say that making vows could be a sign of arrogance.

They further say that one who stops making vows, will be be without sin.

The only time a vow could be justified, is in times of trouble. This is when a person actually reaches out to Hashem, and promises to do such and such, if he will be relieved of his present crisis.

There is a mechanism that was taught to the heads of the tribes, to release people of vows they made and later regretted. This is called התרת נדרים.

I was once asked by a desperate individual to release him from a regretted vow. He got angry at his brother and vowed he would not attend his son’s wedding.

With the help of two other kosher Jews, we formed a Beit Din and allowed this man to attend his nephew’s wedding.

We must remember not to make vows and if we must, they must be with Hashem in mind.