B”H

June 25th 2026

10 Tammuz 5786

What is Love?/ Ahavah /אַהֲבָה

First written in Sept. 1989

Revised: June 25th 2026

Trigger Warning : Parental Discretion is advised

 What is Love/ Ahavah?

Some say “Love” is unconditional

Some say being in love is a form of “Slavery”

Some say Love is “Bondage”

If  that “Love” is only coming from a  place of

 “Ego” and “I” and “Want”

Some say “Love” is a form of Freedom

from oneself

to learn

 how to

“Love” and  to become

fully

Self-Actualized

Can Love be unconditional in certain circumstances?

I love so I hurt

I love so I cry

I love so I feel good and bad and every emotion in between

I love so I can be human

What is it to truly be alive?

Is it Freedom from all ailments?

Or  is it the strength to be able to overcome them

And share your experience and strength and hope with others ?

In hopes to make meaning out of your own suffering and turn it into light?

This way your own darkness and burdens can be used to elevate and support others

so that their burdens can be lifted and healed to.

Or is  “love” the vices we choose because we our human?

And because that “person”, “place” ,or “thing”,  professes their “love” to us?

And in our darkest hours

And at the times of our most profound struggles and pain

both individually  and collectively

Sometimes, but not always

This type of “Love” or illusion will whisper to us late at night

or early in the morning

Slowly and Seductively

And if we are not anchored in the “Truth”

And our own personal truth

This fantasy will catch us off guard

And in those moments of despair

This false belief will have the power to overcome and control us

Even if we are loved and have a whole life filled with love

It will not be enough to fill that hole or emptiness

And

Not in such rare and extreme cases

This Phantom and mirage will have the power to penetrate so deep within our hearts, minds, and souls

That this “Vice” or that “Person” Place, or Thing  or Love   will make us believe

That this “Love” or  person, place, or thing,  will be able to give us

the one thing that all of us outwardly or silently

crave the most

“Real Love” and “Self-Love”

And wholeness and peace and peace of mind!

And with great fervor and intensity

Anyone of us who does not know “Real Love”

for a myriad of reasons

Will go willingly

And without any  thought

or even without a  split second of hesitation to

any extremes and lengths

and will

Even be willing to jump off

Cliffs and Mountains

To the abyss and beyond

And to the depths of insanity

just to 

to possess and claim

this pseudo type

of “Love” and Self-worth and wholeness

Which in the end  will not be real

It will be a nightmare and  a living hell

And in some

but not so

extreme cases

This will leave us with no real satisfaction  at all

Why you say?

Well that question is open for lots of dialogue and discussion

Both on a global and very mundane level

Right?

One explanation and theory I would like to propose

From the Psych world is this is a form

Of protection

Or defense

to keep ourselves safe

No matter what at any costs!

And I mean any!

Even If that means keeping us from the one thing we want and deserve most

Real human connection

(Sorry AI!) 

And true love, home, and  a sense of belonging

This figment of one’s imagination and

And as some   mental health experts like to call this

” A defense mechanism   ”

That was and is still

Being created by many individuals anywhere

and every where

Very intricately

and

over time

and

decades

and

years

and

lifetimes

and

It’s main function and job and defense is to

to make sure we are safe

and protected

and  not to let anyone hurt us ever again ever!

And these defenses  will go to any lengths to keep us safe

Until this safety becomes the thing that will kill us

if we don’t face our fears and the pain we are trying to hide from

Especially, if you

or someone you loved

or  if your community

Your people

or

Country

has experienced some type of betrayal, or some type violation of trust

So 

No matter who you are

Or what your background  is

According to some psychological theories  this is how  parts of the human mind works and will work to keep you safe at all costs.

This way you don’t have to risk what you really want the most

Which is authentic safe human connections

With our fellow travelers and Compondrás!

Statistics and Facts and Science and research to support my above theory and claim!

How Our Past Trauma Drives Our Brain’s Response to New Stress

https://medicine.yale.edu/news-article/how-our-past-trauma-drives-our-brains-response-to-new-stress/ how it works to keep you safe at all costs

Key protective factors that mitigate the impact of childhood trauma on poor mental health in adulthood: a scoping review protocol

This is a way to help you survive

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41688118/

and to help you never let your guard down

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11772489/

What is anything?

I say to myself

A phrase

A way to keep me in  my mind and my thoughts

and not my heart

So this way I will not  feel the intensity of my feelings

I create this observation and pondering

as a way

to protect myself and not engage in life

for fear of being hurt

Does all of this “Love” and Suffering and human existence have a purpose?

Good Question! 

Is this another way I am hiding behind my intellect to keep myself safe?

Is Love a thing?

“I am really Lonely”

Is Love an action?

“I am really scared”

Is Love forgiveness?

“Please G-d help me heal so I can feel safe again

to trust my heart again

and be open to real love that is safe “

And filled with real intimacy and holiness!

Love is healing

“Please G-d help me overcome my challenges so I can be a channel of your Love, Your hope, Your light, and Your healing, and Joy”

I think that Love starts with Self-Love!

 and Self forgiveness and forgiveness of others

And the release of any 

Shame, Guilt and Humiliation of being a human being

And not being perfect and making lots of mistakes

Especially,

When in the moment all of us did

and are still doing the best we can with the tools and skills we have

At any given moment of our lives

And when we there is a realistic and an exorbitant amount of abundance of financial resources

and accessibility for all of our

most beloved

Underserved

and

Men, Women, and Children

Young and Old

in all of the whole world

both domestically and globally

So   this way  all of Hashem’s kids can be able to  get the treatment and medical and mental health care they need  and all of their basic needs met

So that we can all have a life worth living  and be part of the solution and human race!

Even now

June 25 2026

10 Tammuz 5786

Like you , I am still , once second at a time doing my best to heal

And it is still very hard

Since there is still many forces and situations

I have no control over at the moment!

I believe we are all our doing the best we can

to heal and to have the courage and strength

to do better and keep on showing up for all of what life has to offer

Even if in this moment if we don’t

feel very lovable at all

or we don’t have any one person to love

Or to  tell us we are loved

Love is Lovely!

And a blessing for anyone that has the courage to keep on going

and really know and learn that they are worthy and lovable no matter what

And that no matter how many failed attempts you might have had in this area of your life

That without a shadow of a doubt and

with the utmost certainty

I can say

You were born worthy to love

and be loved

and you are

Lovable!

And deserve to be treated with respect and  human dignity!

May we all heal and know self-love

Self forgiveness

And true love for ourselves and our neighbors

And may there be a

A healing so profound for all of G-ds childrens from all faiths and religions  all around the world both domestically and Globally

That this love heals the whole world and all of its inhabitants in it!

And that this love and healing should bring us all and our world to its final phase of redemption  and deliverance and Peace.

Amen! 

Written by: Tzedeck Zeltzer

Tzedeck.com 

#EstherHaMalkaOneDollarFund

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