What is the worth of a life?

graphic by Lilach Yazdi

How much for the hostage?

Gd, Gd, we will never adapt to this

The days and nights accumulate to weeks and months, then quarters and halves. The days tricking us into thinking there is more light on the horizon, but all I see is darkness and the smell of rain has turned into a dank, stifling, putrid stink of mold and unwashed bodies. I cannot help but go there… My mind, racing to understand the incomprehensible.

But – what is worse? The discussions, the disagreements, the arguments! How much is a life worth? How many imprisoned terrorists equal each hostage?

I moved to Israel some forty plus years ago… and now those years feel like some imaginary fantasy. The government and I have not always been on the same page – but I always trusted… I always trusted that whoever was king that day, had our best interests at heart. I believed that they worked for the betterment of each one of us that built our homes in the land, the country of Israel.

And here we are – 165 days since October 7^th, that blackest of Sabbaths. I waited; I think we all waited – the King would take responsibility. The King would take the reins. But the King, afraid and weak blamed everyone else… as we waited. The King, behind the court jesters, who romped and riled and made such noise, the King, and all the King’s men, seemed not to hear the crying coming from the tunnels, the shouting from the families, the despair of the people. More and more soldiers lose their lives, unless they are lucky – then they lose only their businesses.

The people of this land run rampant and raging. We don’t sleep. We’ve forgotten what there is to celebrate, the holidays, ‘canceled until further notice.’

Tell me – how much for a hostage? How much?

We no longer confidently tuck our children in at night, feeling safe in the knowledge that we are protected. We no longer dance, party, sing or celebrate. We are no longer confident. How can we be confident when the King and his jesters insist that there is a limit, that the life of a hostage – the lives of our children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, and grandparents – these lives have a limited value… One he will not pay. The King has taken away our confidence, our security and has left us – alone in a world that hates us.

The King must go.