Explaining Israel to friends back home was always a challenge
Over the years, I’ve read many stories by new immigrants to Israel who tried to stay friends with people that they left behind and … failed. The reasons varied. Some felt abandoned by our departure. Some confronted us with what the anti-Zionist media ‘reported’ about ‘us.’ Suddenly, each of us became ‘them.’ An inextricable tangle of old and new Jew-hatred by our old friends, sometimes family members. Heartbreaking.
***
My oldest friend in the Netherlands helped me find pride in being a Jew and return to Judaism. He was just being a good friend. He’s not Jewish.
Fifty years ago, a fellow student attacked me verbally about Israel. I really tried to win on arguments, but my friend entered, looked for one second at what was happening, and said to that student, ‘What you say hurts him. Come with me and say it to me.’
***
And from the same student unit, I had other friends for 50 years already. With one of them, I had regular WhatsApp contact. Since October 7th, 2023, I sent him the real Israel information unavailable in the Netherlands. But he never reacted to any of it, so I had a bad feeling about it.
Half a year ago, he suddenly demanded from me that Israel behaves. I told him to take that back. He doubled down. He ‘valued’ our friendship but no longer wanted to hear from me about Israel. I blocked him on WhatsApp.
Yesterday, he suddenly sent me this email (I translated it from Dutch):
It’s indescribable how you (sic) treat the people of Gaza! How dare you starve children to death in misery?? We can no longer watch your inhumane behavior with dry eyes! No Hamas propaganda—we see what happens in Gaza every day, but apparently you never see dying children and desperate, starving parents …
SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!! SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!
Within half an hour, another message with a piece of visual Pallywood:
Looking out over Gaza and cheering when another rocket impacts …
How low can you sink???
Classical Jew-hatred: No matter which Jews supposedly misbehaved, all Jews are to be blamed and attacked for it.
***
It was high time to write my old friend and ally that “I have better things to do than listening to Jew-hatred and Western moral supremacy, but you have my blessing if you want to engage him in conversation.” He replied:
Yes, I contacted [them]. “Just say it to me,” was my message again. If [he] bothers you again, please let me know, and I’ll push him harder.
My Emotional Reactions and Fantasies of What to Answer
Meanwhile, I can’t help but think of what I would answer him in kind.
Scandalous how you let Marinus van der Lubbe burn down the Reichstag. Without you, there wouldn’t have been a Chancellor Hitler or Holocaust. The whole world knows this, but you just ignore it! Fifty million people you murdered in WW II, and you don’t feel responsible. You are monsters!!!!
(Marinus van der Lubbe was a Dutch communist. Hitler justified his power grab with this deed. Blaming all the Dutch for Hitler is surely ridiculous.)
Or would I answer him cynically?
For your information, you only rely on the superficially anti-Jewish NOS, ANP, NRC, Volkskrant, CNN, BBC, and Al Jazeera. Without the serious analyses from Der Stürmer, you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Or should I keep it real?
Just now, a thousand Druze were murdered in Syria. A pure act of genocide, you know, the thing the world doesn’t get tired of falsely accusing Israel of. But Israel was the only country that sprang into action, and immediately. Don’t worry, also days later, the whole world, hundreds of countries, among them all the other democracies, still did nothing—except condemning Israel for using force! Then Israel sent medical assistance, together with … no one. We see it all in real time. The Pogrom on Simchat Torah and now the ruthless slaughtering of Druze civilians. And the politicians of the world stand by idly and blame the Jews. Eighty years after the Holocaust. Learned nothing. The same Jew-hatred, strong as ever.
The Importance of Having Allies, the More the Merrier
I can think about all these things but prefer to use my time and energy to foster pride and unity among the Jews, while allies shape up the Gentiles.
My friend and ally and I learned from our teacher Harvey Jackins that allies with Jews don’t need the approval of Jews on how they want to fight Antisemitism. They have their own considerations and need to use their own brains. Therefore, he gladly will share with me the text he’ll send to my ex-friend for my comments and feedback, but not for my legalization.
Conversely, I can comment on the situation without my allies’ approval.
***
He sent me the first mail he sent him. It’s a cordial, hearty invitation to renew the connection with him and talk about it. He replaced all hot-button words with more neutral terms to win his trust, because why would he listen to him otherwise? He suggested many ways to connect, virtually and physically, and addressed both partners so that they can talk to each other about such a reunion. He bragged about knowing where I’m coming from without going into (painful) details at this stage and that I’m very solid in my opinions, enticing them with him having inside information.
It would be hard on me to be so upbeat and friendly to them now, and I’m not really excited about inviting them to share all the vitriol the media and their upbringing gave them about Jews. And since their present animosity is with me, I can’t really help them, as Moses couldn’t pray for Korach. (He called him a tyrant, and when you slay your lawyer, he can’t help you.)
He immediately got a warm and detailed reply. Each of those details he will use to renew his acquaintance with them to introduce later some new ideas for them about the position of Jews and Antisemitism.
You may find more controversial writings on Amazon or my own blog.
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. *
This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Of the 15 (!) books he has in mind, the next two are about homosexuality in Judaism and new rabbinics. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2600 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog that also may contain updates to Times of Israel posts, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. *
He's getting ready to publicize books on: "Free Will, "Judaism and Homosexuality, "His parents in the Holocaust, "Judaism, "A New Torah Translation and "A New Hebrew Grammar, "Co-Counseling, "Vegan Facts, "Immortality, and more. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He agrees that in a post-truth world, that's irrelevant, but then this is for the record. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. *
His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. His posts are spell, grammar, and style polished by AI, but all written by himself. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
