Famous is the story of the rabbi who invites one of his congregants and his wife to come by one evening to sit with the rabbi and his wife.
When they’re seated, each with something to eat and drink after their choice, the rabbi asks the husband: “Please tell me why you and your wife are always quarreling.” He obliges and the rabbi asks for all the details he can think of. After he told the whole story, the rabbi says to him with a smile: “You’re completely right.”
Now he turns to the wife. “Please tell me why you and your husband are always quarreling.” She tells it all and the rabbi asks for all the details he can think of. After she recounted the complete story, the rabbi says to her with a smile: “You’re completely right.”
Now the rebbetzin can’t take it any longer and blurts out: “First you say he’s completely right and then you say that she’s completely right — you can’t do that!”
The rabbi smiles again when he tells his wife: “Let me tell you — you’re completely right too.”
Though this is meant as a joke, deep wisdom is taught here. People don’t feel and see things for a good reason. That others see it differently does not invalidate their story. There is validity in each honest opinion.
Friends of mine actually stopped quarreling after I friendly told them this story. They now understood to take turns listening to each other and that there was no need to contrast their partner’s story with their own.
***
One level deeper goes when two Sages in the Talmud explain something in opposite ways. They both represent Absolute Truth. How could they be both right? But the Sages teach us that there are three challenges in such a case. To understand why each is right and lastly why both are right.
A case in point is the Torah telling us: “And a new king arose over Egypt, who did not know Joseph” (Exodus 1:8). One opinion is that this really was a new king, while another opinion holds that this was not really a new king but that he began to act as if he had not known Joseph. But how could that both be true?
The Torah is extremely precise. Let’s back up a bit and closely follow the text and all will become clear. (This is typically not true. Often a close reading of the Torah teaches more questions than answers.)
The Torah first repeats (from Genesis 46:5-27) that with Jacob, all the remaining offspring of his and their families (their houses here actually mean their wives) came to Egypt (Exodus 1:1). Then comes the list of the sons (Exodus 1:2-4.) And Joseph was already (with wife and two sons) in Egypt, totaling all the offspring 70 (Exodus 1:5). These two latter points are reversed in the verse because the next one will continue to talk about Joseph some more. He is mentioned in addition to his brothers to make the whole come out 70 and separately from his brothers because he was their leader.
Then it reads: “And Joseph, and all his brothers, and that entire generation died” (Exodus 1:6). Who is ” that entire generation”? His daughters, the spouses, and all the Gentiles of his generation — including Pharaoh.
So, if we read that Pharaoh had died, why do we need to read that a new king arose over Egypt? Because he was not a simple continuation of the previous Pharaoh. He had never seen Joseph. And very different is your understanding of someone you only heard or read about but actually never met.
So, he was an actually new king but his behavior towards the Jews was also significantly different. The tow opinions are both right and follow organically from the Torah text.
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. *
This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Of the 15 (!) books he has in mind, the next two are about homosexuality in Judaism and new rabbinics. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2600 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog that also may contain updates to Times of Israel posts, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. *
He's getting ready to publicize books on: "Free Will, "Judaism and Homosexuality, "His parents in the Holocaust, "Judaism, "A New Torah Translation and "A New Hebrew Grammar, "Co-Counseling, "Vegan Facts, "Immortality, and more. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He agrees that in a post-truth world, that's irrelevant, but then this is for the record. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. *
His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. His posts are spell, grammar, and style polished by AI, but all written by himself. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
