This blog article is different from all my previous ones. I am going to be personal and share one of my spiritual experiences. Sharing this is risky because I am giving you a chance to scorn something that, for me, is sacred. Yet, people already slander our Creator and ridicule that He even exists, no one is safe from mockery. Someone told me recently that I need to let God protect what I saw, instead of trying to do it myself, so I decided to take that good advice and write this for my blog.
Before I do I want to address the belief that seeing God (outside of heaven) is impossible because He told Moses that no one can see Him and live (Ex 33:20). Yet, Moses spoke to him “face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend” (Ex. 33:11). While the idea of God being too holy to see goes further back in time (Gn. 32:30) the Hebrew Scriptures have plenty of people who saw God. Isaiah, Micaiah, Daniel, and Hagar to name just a few. This is a larger subject for another blog. I can only tell you what I saw in my dream.
This is my greatest encounter with God, only comparable to when I came to believe and experienced the Holy Spirit for the first time. The message in the dream was not just for me personally but for the world.
In 1994, in the early morning hours of Sunday, January 16th, I had a dream right before waking. In my dream, it was lunchtime, between 12-1 pm and I was in the kitchen. I looked out the window and there were black clouds that had descended to the ground. Everything became dark and I somehow knew and “saw” that chaos and panic broke out downtown in the city. People were running around scared and confused wondering what was happening. At that time, my twins were 7 years old. In the dream, my daughter was with me, but my son was somewhere else. I was worried and looking for him. Then, I looked out and up at the sky and saw that it was filled with big, beautiful white clouds, which had well-defined golden tinted edges. The light was different, no longer dark, but not like ordinary light either.
Suddenly, the clouds in the sky parted to reveal God, our Father, gigantic and majestic, in Heaven. The second the clouds separated I was aware of someone standing to my right giving me permission to see God and take everything in. I was given all the time I wanted. I saw it all extremely clearly.
God was wearing a white robe and cloak and He had long white hair and a white beard and mustache. The beard was mostly covered by His hair as I saw His face slightly from His left. Everything was in white. God was old, but not in the human sense — He was ancient. He was looking down at a big book, open in the middle, which He was holding in His hands. I instinctively knew it was the Book of Life. His facial expression was serious. Everything about Him was incredibly beautiful, powerful, and majestic. The best comparison I can give is the way a vast mountain range or a roaring ocean is stunning and radiates the kind of might which puts you in complete awe. It includes a tremendous reverence and the acute knowledge of how tiny and helpless you are in comparison to how strong nature is when you are exposed to the elements. Take that times a million and it is the closest way I can describe seeing God. But I need to add that I was not afraid, I felt completely safe.
For what seemed like quite a long time — though time also proceeded in a different way — I just looked and looked and looked, taking it all in until I was filled and completely satiated. Then He turned around so that His cloak flew, and He slammed the book together so hard that there was a big resounding bang. He was angry. Not a little, but furious, and not at me personally, but at what we humans, as a society, are doing on earth.
After that, He directed me to look to the right and He showed me a film in black and white. One after another various images were displayed of mostly women and children. They were all destitute and had ragged war-torn clothes. When this had gone on for a while God stopped this display at one picture of this older, rugged man, who held a closed black Bible in his hand. God told me that the Bible the man was holding was written in Polish. Then I saw a little more, but the rest is blurry and all I remember is seeing more children before the movie faded, and I woke up.
I sat straight up in bed, startled, because I had seen God. I told my parents that morning that “I saw God” but since they are not Christians (working on getting them there) they did not pay me much attention. I told my priest on the way out of church later that morning but by the lack of response, I think he just thought I was crazy.
The very next morning, Monday, January 17, I learned about the giant earthquake that had just devastated L.A. in the pre-dawn hours. I instantly connected it to the big bang when God shut the Book of Life in my dream.
Shortly after that I also found out that the epicenter of the earthquake was right in the middle of the U.S. center for porn production (according to some, for the world), in the San Fernando Valley. I knew that the bang from the Book of Life reflected God’s anger. God created sexuality at the heart of creation, but pornography is in direct opposition to it. It is an attack on the power of creation itself. Those who abuse, debase, and warp sexuality, in addition to dragging countless lives down with them are enemies of everything God stands for. Yahweh is the Author of truth and love and the power of creation belongs to Him. He has allowed us to be limited co-creators by giving man and woman the ability to create a new life and to abuse this in any way is a great sin. Pornography, and all it entails, is a counterfeit to love.
I also understood in the dream that God’s wrath includes how obsessed and focused we are on selfish desires and wrong things. Vanity and invented first world problems, where so many are spoiled, make many neglect the real suffering of people all around the world. The contrast is jarring.
Most importantly, the most abused, tortured, and exploited people are predominantly women and children who are victims of human sex trafficking. This is one of the most extreme evils on the planet today. God is — undoubtedly — enraged about this. They are used for pornography (which includes children as young as newborn), prostitution, sexual abuse, and murder. Nothing could be viler and more demonic.
Because I felt that my dream was an urgent warning, I reached out to a couple of older more knowledgeable people in hopes they might have possible insights and advice, but they did not.
A few months after the dream, the 10th of May in the spring of 1994, there was a solar eclipse in the middle of the day. I was outside when it happened, and I was immediately taken back to the physical feeling I had in my dream, because it was the exact same sensation I had when the strange light appeared just before I saw God.
For about half a year after the dream, I was plagued by a need to pass the warning on. It was like a fire inside me that I could not quench. Eventually, towards the end of the summer, this burning calling began to fade. I wrote my dream down and the only people that I have talked to about this on an ongoing basis are my two children. But I have always intuitively known that whatever God warned me about, it has not yet come to pass. The warning, manifested in the L.A. earthquake, was about something on a far greater scale than anything that has happened yet.
Since then, I have tried to understand more of what the dream meant aside from what I learned right away. For instance, who was this man that held a Bible and why did God tell me it was written in Polish?
I am a convert to Catholicism and when Pope Francis took over after Pope Benedict, I was a bit perplexed because he looked like the old man with the Bible in my dream. I cannot say I am completely sure about this, but the similarity is striking. The first thing I thought of was how Pope John Paul was Polish, but I do not know what the message with that would be? My initial excitement for the current Pope Francis has changed to serious misgivings and I now think that perhaps the warning will come true under Pope Francis’ time in the Vatican.
There was something else that struck me about a year or so ago. I was looking up which countries still outlawed abortion in Europe. It was Poland and Northern Ireland, plus the tiny countries of Malta, San Marino, Andorra, Lichtenstein, Monaco, and the Vatican. At that moment I had this sudden inkling that once Poland is the only major country left, God’s warning would become imminent.
Then, late last year I learned that Northern Ireland had capitulated to allow liberal laws on abortion earlier that year and I instantly had an ominous feeling that the prophecy was being fulfilled.
On a worldwide scale, China, Europe, and North America are pro-abortion while the countries in South and Latin America, and Africa mostly oppose it, save a few exceptions. Generally, it is the poorer nations that oppose it and the rich who promote it. Jesus warned that it was hard for a rich man to enter heaven, but many in the first world do not consider what affluence and comforts have done to them. Material wealth can be great but also deceiving. It can lead many to prioritize material comforts and monetary security ahead of doing what is right.
While God cares about our well-being, He is mostly concerned with morals and character, not modern ideas of “progress.” Europe has been Christian for approximately a millennium, but as it has prospered in the modern age, it has also become secular and atheist. In the United States the battle between Christianity and secular atheism is playing out right now via legislation. I was born in the decade of the sexual revolution, and in my lifetime there have been rapid and vast transformations because of changing laws that cement and expand cultural trends. The warning in the dream addressed this.
My dream was Apocalyptic. Since childhood, I have heard of the woes and dire predictions for our world. For this reason, I loved the book of Revelation because it gave me hope. I knew that good will win over evil. This was also one of the reasons I named my son Johannes (the longer Swedish version of the English John), after John’s book of Revelation. Today my daughter lives near me, while my son’s work has taken him to other states. If the dream is prophetic in its details perhaps it foreshadowed that I would be geographically near my daughter but far from my son when the events in my dream take place. A warning, which is what I understood the dream to be, suggests that we can change the trajectory we are on to avert danger. But, since then things have become worse, not better.
Lastly, who was next to me allowing me to see God in my dream? Someone told me immediately upon hearing the dream that it was Jesus. This may be, but whoever it was, it is hard for me to not relate this to a near-death experience I had about half a year before this dream. I nearly died after an anaphylactic shock from being stung by a yellow jacket and the doctors told me it was the most severe reaction possible before death. I stopped breathing more than once but was brought back, at first, by a bystander before the ambulance arrived. When I finally came back fully and regained consciousness I did so right before the paramedics were about to give me electric shocks. I have a few memories from the other side and the main one was that I was walking and talking with someone who was on my right. But I was not allowed to recall who it was or what we talked about and it was relayed to me that the memory of that, and everything else except a few other things, was “sealed.” So twice, a mystery person has been on my right side in such pivotal life events.
When I had my first significant experience with God at age 7, I tested Him the next day to see if He really existed with a couple of things and they both came true. I then told Him I believed in Him, without a doubt, and that He would never have to show Himself to me to prove His existence because I would only be scared. As time went on, I regretted that a little and, in my heart, I secretly wanted to see Him. Not for lack of faith but because I was a bit curious. Then, in this dream before the warning, He granted me this secret wish that only He knew. This is one of many times that He has shown me that He knows my heart completely.
I want to conclude by saying to all who are brokenhearted to take comfort, because the Father knows your heart. And to all who are proud and arrogant before our Creator, take heed.
I am much aware that cynics will say my dream of how God looked is simply my mind having impressions from classic paintings by Michelangelo and William Blake which portray God the way I saw Him in my dream. First off, these depictions are based on the Bible and this vision of God goes back millennia all the way to the Canaanites. So, one can think that this is the typical way humans have imagined God. Or, one can also think that there is something to it. A cynic will always choose the first but just remember that that does not make it true.