When Unity Matters Most: A Reform Synagogue’s Embrace of IDF Veterans
What do you do when your 20 guests overstay their planned 8 day visit by another 10 days, with no certainty about when they will go home?
What if this happened after you went to great expense, and dropped everything else in your life to make sure that these guests had everything they need?
This was the situation encountered by the Temple Sinai of Bergen County community, while hosting 18 IDF veterans and two therapists as part of the Peace of Mind program. The group, coming after multiple tours in Gaza and Lebanon, was supposed to return to Israel after 8 days, but due to the closure of Israeli airspace during the war with Iran their stay was extended by another 10 days.
They were one of 250 groups of veterans to participate in Peace of Mind since the program was founded after the Second Lebanon War, and the 45th group since October 7. Run by the Metiv Israel Psychotrauma Center in Jerusalem, Peace of Mind is a therapeutic intervention in which entire units of 15-21 veterans, accompanied by two professional therapists, are hosted by a Jewish community outside of Israel. The program strengthens their emotional and mental wellbeing, allowing for a healthier transition from military to civilian life.
The main workshop, lasting 8 days, take place when the entire unit of 15-21 veterans, plus two of our therapists, are hosted by a Jewish community outside of Israel. During the week the veterans undergo 40 hours of therapy, and in the evenings spend time on fun activities that create engagement with the host community.
Most of the veterans know little or nothing about Jewish life abroad. Hosted in pairs by families within the community, the veterans quickly learn that their service, their sacrifice and the risks they took, has purpose beyond the State of Israel – it has meaning for the entirety of the Jewish people.
Each unit that goes through the Peace of Mind program includes veterans from diverse backgrounds – religious, traditional and secular. In turn, Peace of Mind works with a wide variety of host communities, including Orthodox, Conservative and Reform. The common denominator of these communities is a love for Israel and those who defend it.
As part of the program and their engagement with the community, the veterans come to synagogue/temple on Shabbat. We have cases of secular veterans coming to synagogue for their first time since their Bar Mitzvah, and of Orthodox veterans stepping foot for the first time in their lives in a Reform or Conservative synagogue. Sure, it’s not always easy or comfortable initially but the love, warmth, and on a practical level – flexibility, always wins. This is Jewish peoplehood at its finest.
The unit being hosted at Temple Sinai was nearing the end of their trip when the war started and the skies closed.
As it became clear that the guys were stuck I received a phone call from Jocelyn Inglis – the executive director of Temple Sinai. Do not worry, she told me. These men are like family for us. They are not guests. We will host them and take care of them as long as necessary, whether it’s another three days, three weeks or three months. We know they are eager to return to their families, but while they are here it is our privilege to host them.
During their extended stay other nearby Peace of Mind communities in NY and NJ also took the veterans on excursions and activities, with the Fire Island community hosting the men for two nights by the beach. The veterans were cared for throughout their stay.
I have seen a recurring (loving) argument take place amongst multiple Peace of Mind programs. The veterans, who initially don’t understand why their host community is providing such a warm welcome to them, keep on saying thank you. In turn, community members say – don’t thank us – we need to thank you! This goes on back and forth, until the veterans accept that they did something for which it makes sense for Jews living across the world to express their appreciation.
We are all aware of the divisions in the Jewish people. With the Iran war concluded (for now) we are back to our usual internal arguments with full force. The warm and loving Temple Sinai, which went above and beyond, proves that when it comes down to it, we are there for one another, divisions and all. This is the power of the Peace of Mind program.