When You Sleep With Dogs You Get Fleas
Bebe sat at his desk, wondering when the President would call him again. Their last conversation had been rough—heated enough to leave scorch marks on both ends of the line.
Then he thought, Maybe I should call him. He’s never been very good at making apologies.
At that exact moment, the red light on his phone began blinking.
Bebe waited four seconds before picking up the receiver.
“Good evening, Mr. President. I’m glad you called. I was just about to ring you myself. How is life treating you?”
“Bebe, it’s terrible. It sucks. I’m getting pressure from all sides to cut a lousy deal with Iran. And whenever I mention your name, people keep repeating the same thing: ‘When you sleep with dogs, you get fleas.'”
Bebe paused for a moment and then laughed.
“You know, Mr. President, that’s actually pretty funny. What a coincidence. I’m hearing that same old saying in Jerusalem. But I tell those folks that when I owned Fifi, my white French poodle, I learned that letting her sleep in our bed had benefits.”
“Oh?”
“Absolutely. We got protection. She was a barker with extraordinary hearing. If a mouse so much as scurried across the room, she’d sound the alarm. We got companionship. We got affection. And on cold nights, she sometimes kept me warm by pressing her back against mine.”
The President chuckled.
“Bebe, I’ve never owned a dog. But I hear they have pills now that you feed your mutt. The fleas hate the smell so much they won’t jump aboard. Seems to me it’s a classic risk-benefit analysis.”
“How so?”
“Well, as I see it, there are three options. First, you give the dog the pills. Second, you don’t allow the dog in the bedroom. Third, you give the dog away.”
“Excellent analysis, Mr. President. Anything else you’d like to discuss?”
“Nope. It’s three in the morning here in Washington, and I’m going to get some shut-eye. We’ll talk again in a few days. Good night, Bebe.”
“Good night, Mr. President. Sleep well.”
As Bebe hung up the receiver, he stared at the silent phone for a moment.
Then he thought:
I wonder what that call was really about?
