The Blogs: When Your Dreams Seem to Be Flying Away From You

You Only Fail When You Stop Trying

Has your life turned out the way you would have hoped for? Have you created the marriage that you dreamed of? Are your relationships with your kids as impeccable as you swore they’d be? Is your Judaism a perfect ten or are you struggling to keep your head above water?

Though our dreams might be an elusive asymptote, the Torah portion of Balak inspires us to stay the course and cherish our efforts, notwithstanding our achievements.

This portion recounts some of the most magnificent blessings ever to have bestowed upon our nation. One of the most famous amongst them is one we recite each morning at the beginning of our daily Divine service: “How wonderful are your tents Jacob, your homes Israel.” (Bamidbar 24:5). Though it’s hard to understand this blessing at face value, the Ba’al Shem Tov who founded the Chassidic movement in 1734, explains it in the most deeply personal and meaningful way.

In general, Jews are referred to as both Jacob and Israel, depending on which quality is being emphasized. Jacob, meaning “heel,” was a name given to our forefather Jacob when he was born clutching the heel of his older brother Esau. This name addresses the Jew who lives in the shadow of the gentiles and is constantly influenced by them. Instead of being comfortable in his own skin, his Judaism is constantly in response to what the gentiles around him say or think. In modern times, Jacob could be the Jew who apologizes for Israel’s military victories and is constantly trying to appease our enemies by “giving back land” or speaking out for the oppressed Palestinians. He is intimidated by the UN and the ICC as he perpetually struggles with the generational trauma of his earliest youth, which began in the birth canal of our nation.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is Israel. In sharp contrast to Jacob’s heel, this name can also be read as “li rosh,” which refers to “my head.” Jacob was awarded this name by an angel in the Torah (Genesis 32: 29) “for you have struggled with angels and with men and you have prevailed over them.” Hence, Israel is the Jew of strength who refuses to live his life in response to the other nations and their insecurities. He is firm, proud and unapologetic. In today’s terms, Israel might be the IDF commando who fearlessly rescues hostages in daring Gaza raids or the New York Jew who refuses to hide his Jewish identity despite the antisemitism surrounding him.

Israel is the perfect Jew, while Jacob is the struggling Jew. Israel’s relationship with G-d is rock solid—hence the blessing this week associates Israel with permanent “homes.” Jacob walks on eggshells in his rocky relationship with G-d and hence his blessing is associated with rickety “tents.”

One might think that Israel is far preferable to Jacob. The perfect Jew trumps the insecure Jew any day. But the striking novelty that the Torah teaches us this Shabbos is that Jacob precedes Israel in the blessing! The profound reason that “How wonderful are your tents Jacob” foreshadows “your homes Israel,” is that G-d far prefers effort over perfection. To the Master of the Universe, our final product pales in the face of the power invested. If G-d was seeking perfection, he would have created us that way. What the Torah is telling us is that it’s ok to struggle, as long as we always keep fighting and never give up.

Though the shallow corporate world might care more about your results than your efforts, G-d Almighty treasures our hard work far more than our successes! Happiness is not about getting all you want; it’s about enjoying all you have.

We all know that nothing worth having comes easy. Though your marriage or parenting skills might be far from perfect, it’s the little things that make the greatest difference to the people we cherish most. So instead of mourning our dashed dreams, let us embrace our efforts, knowing that in reality, the only thing between you and outrageous success is persistent progress. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being excited about what could go right.

But remember this—effort is only effort when it begins to hurt!

Rabbi Dovid Vigler
Chabad of Palm Beach Gardens
6100 PGA Blvd, Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33418
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