Wherever you turn, God is there!

In a fascinating discourse on parshas Acharei Mos, the Alter Rebbe plumbs the depths of the concept of teshuva, which, as we know, is simply defined as “repentance,” but in its more literal and genuine translation, means “return.” The Alter Rebbe asks how it is that a person can find himself in a situation where he must “return” to Hashem if, as we declare daily, “Hashem echad/God is One” and therefore He is in all places at all times. If so, one can never actually be distant from God, so how are we to understand this notion of the need to “return”?

To explain, the Alter Rebbe quotes the verse from Jeremiah which states, “כִּי־פָנוּ אֵלַי עֹרֶף וְלֹא פָנִים/Ki panu eilai oref v’lo panim” (Jeremiah 2:27). The simple understanding is that God is complaining that the people “turned their back to me and not their face.” But translated literally, the verse means “they turned to me their back and not their face.” The profound implication here is that the “sin” of the people is not that they turned AWAY from God, but rather that they turned TO God, but they did so with their back and not their front.

What does this mean? The Alter Rebbe explains that “when two people stand side by side but they have their backs to one another, there is no greater distance than this” (Likkutei Torah, Ki Bayom Hazeh 1). In other words, though we can never actually depart from God’s presence – because He is One and thus everywhere – we create tremendous “distance” from Him when we turn our back to Him.

“Turning our back” does not mean fleeing from His service, but rather serving Him in a “backhanded” way, i.e. without desire, enthusiasm, and joy. The Alter Rebbe exemplifies this with the image of one who is forced to give something to his enemy. Rather than facing him and giving to the enemy with joy, he turns away and passes it begrudgingly over his shoulder.

We become “distant” from God and thus require “return” not simply when we reject His will, but even when we turn to Him but in a backward fashion – when we fulfill His will but only reluctantly because we feel that we are required to do so.

Like any parent who provides for her/his child with consummate care and generosity, God does not seek our begrudging obedience, but our loving embrace. True teshuvah is therefore not merely a resignation to be less rebellious, but rather a recognition of the tremendous love that we are given and the desire to lovingly reciprocate.

We turn to face God when we internalize His infinite unity and His omnipresence – at that point we realize that we are always facing Him, because He is everywhere. When we understand that we are absolutely united with Him at all times regardless of our missteps and failings, we experience tremendous love and we dissolve into His perpetual embrace.

Teshuvah is thus not a far journey in which we must “return” to some distant place that we left long ago. Rather it is a simple turn of direction and orientation as we “face” the truth of our inevitable inclusion in God’s infinite and eternal presence.

— Pnei Hashem is an introduction to the deepest depths of the human experience based on the esoteric teachings of Torah.  www.pneihashem.com