Who comforts whom?

It was a few weeks after October 7th. I was scheduled to attend a conference in Los Angeles of CEOs and COOs of the Network of Jewish Human Service Agencies. I was seriously considering canceling – who could enjoy such an event during such times?

But when this organization (of which I was until very recently a board member and for the past six years) arranged for me to speak about the events of October 7th and its impact on Israel Elwyn and the people with disabilities we support, I felt that I should go. I needed to tell our story to colleagues. Surely, they would want to hear and surely, they would no less serve as a source of comfort for me at a time of such difficulty and horror. And many of them did.

But the great surprise for me, which now, with hindsight may not be such a surprise, was how much many of my North American colleagues, themselves, were hurting. While many of them reached out to comfort me, I realized how much they needed comfort in return. Many, whose organizations expressed early and firm support for Israel, faced pushback from staff. Many were surprised that colleague agencies in the general sector did not reach out to them. Many witnessed and even experienced the new wave of antisemitism. In short, they were hurting too.

I was proud to tell them how our organization, Israel Elwyn, which supports more than 5,000 individuals with disabilities throughout Israel, was overcoming so many of the challenges we faced: programs in the areas of conflict; a facility directly hit by a missile with considerable damage (since repaired and reopened); staff members and/or spouses who were called up for reserve duty; children and adults with disabilities who needed to learn to cope during incoming attacks; finding solutions for displaced staff or services recipients; and building resilience among staff and service recipients who lost family members on October 7th and beyond. In short, I believe that our organization has not only been coping with this emergency, but it has even excelled. And over too many months, I was honored to tell the story in overseas settings as well as online.

And many of our colleague agencies reached out to us in ways that are above and beyond. Some organized Zooms to give professionals and service recipients from Israel Elwyn a chance to tell their stories – many of which were horrifying. Some colleagues made significant contributions to Israel Elwyn’s Emergency Fund, which helped us provide specialized equipment such as iPads for displaced families who had to entertain and occupy their very young children with disabilities; to invest in adding safe rooms where none were available; to provide transportation to professionals who needed to get to work under extraordinary circumstances; and to provide resilience training for professionals and service recipients.

But what we now know, and I only discovered very early into the war, was that Jewish communities overseas have been coping with extraordinary challenges as well. Notwithstanding, many of our colleagues reached out to offer their help, to express their words of support and comfort. As one of our sister-agencies overseas stated in one of the Zoom sessions held in the months after October 7th, “from all of us to all of you… much, much deep and abiding love.”

But we Israelis soon learned that we also had to respond to the crises facing our colleagues in Jewish communities overseas as well. We had a unique role to provide comfort; to ease the pain; to share our experiences. This was a two-way street. This has also been true about contact between our service recipients with disabilities and those supported by colleague agencies with whom we collaborate abroad. We have held several joint Zoom sessions where everyone shared their experiences, concerns, and hopes for a better future, in Israel and overseas.

So, who comforts whom? In the Jewish world of non-profit social service organizations, we need to help each other. We are stronger because we seek out help. We are stronger, because we receive it from colleagues who truly care. We all seek an end to this nightmare sooner than later. But the spirit of helping, of caring, of partnership, makes us all stronger.