Why Barb Heller Wants to Save Your Life

Photos taken by author, Jerusalem, August 15, 2024.

My husband and I were walking down Emek Refaim, a main drag in Jerusalem, on a hot August afternoon. Suddenly a woman calls out to us, “Are you from Los Angeles? You look like a good friend of mine.” Neither of us are, but that set off a Jewish geography session that quickly blossomed into an authentic conversation.

Barbara Heller tells us she’s an actress who is touring with her own one-woman show about the ties between mental health and spirituality. She almost didn’t make it to Israel because her father had passed away just a month before her tour started. But she was determined to make it happen. That day, she was coming from volunteering on a kibbutz in the South and on her way to sing for patients at a nearby hospital. Her friendliness, honesty, and kindness drew us in. Plus, I’m easily star-struck. We promised to come to her upcoming show.

We had no idea what to expect when we entered the social hall of the Kol HaNeshama shul for the show, called Messianic Moments and Cosmic Conversations. Indigo Girls songs filled the air as a crowd ranging in age from 30s to 60s sipped wine, munched cookies, and mingled. A set of slides flashed definitions of terms like “The Messianic Era” and “conversation.” I overheard one man asking a couple if they had met at a recent bar mitzvah, at the Jerusalem pool, or if he just knew them from life in general. Clearly, this was a group seeking connection.

It’s connection that each of the 8 characters Barb plays in the show are seeking, as well. The show juxtaposes videos of Barb interviewing people on the street about their religious beliefs and relationships with Barb bringing those subjects to life on the stage. Each character has a sense of humor, an authentic accent, and many incorporate songs to tell their story.

One subject is 78-year-old Doris, a lawyer from New York who displays her Judaism by carrying a Zabar’s shopping bag and railing against Trump to whoever will listen. Another is Maria from Miami, a Cuban Catholic who likely has Jewish heritage. She shares her heartbreak about her son, who struggled with his gay identity and ultimately took his own life. A perky kindergarten teacher from the mid-west tells us that she was fired for having political beliefs that her fellow teachers didn’t agree with and now they no longer talk to her.

Each character feels like someone you might know. They make you laugh, but as you learn about their losses, disappointments, and regrets, you also want to cry. Ultimately, each character yearns to be accepted for who she is, regardless of her beliefs or life experiences. In the play’s finale, Barb sings “People are Fascinating,” about the toll loneliness takes on us, and how we all seek unconditional love.

As she comes out of character and addresses the audience, Barb challenges everyone to reach out to someone – especially someone who may have views they don’t share – and ask them a few questions. Rather than cancel each other when we don’t agree, let’s look for ways to connect. Have a conversation. From Barb’s perspective, conversations can help pull people out of their lonely shells and save their life.

Barb opened the floor to questions and that’s when the sparks of connection really came alive. Person after person raised their hand to let Barb know they had met her at a bus stop or at a Shabbat meal, or in a random city 15 years ago. She had made a strong impression on them. They remembered her, and she remembered them. They had a conversation and now were part of each other’s story. And so were we.

Meeting Barb and seeing her play at a time in Israel when tensions are so high, when we didn’t know if a siren would interrupt her performance and send us scurrying for shelter from Iranian bombs, made her message even more poignant. We may not know what will happen from moment to moment, so sometimes the best we can do is be kind to each other.