Why I didn’t go to Washington with my prime minister

When Prime Minister Netanyahu invited me to fly with him to Washington DC for his address to Congress, my instinct was to join him. I wanted to stand with my prime minister when he announced he had signed the deal that would bring my sister, Carmel, and the other hostages home. I dreamed of being in the room to celebrate, alongside other family members of hostages, an end to our collective nightmare. Then I could go back home and finally hug my big sister. So, I said yes.

As the trip drew nearer, I witnessed again and again my prime minister prioritizing the safety of his administration, over the safety of the hostages; coming up with new, harsher conditions, to his own deal’s terms; abandoning me and my family. Most critically, he is abandoning Carmel and the 120 hostages who remain in Gaza. 

Israel has already achieved what it set out to achieve in waging this war. The Israel Defense Forces have eliminated Mohammed Deif, taken control of the Gaza Strip, and finally reached the point where the Butcher of Khan Yunis, Yahya Sinwar, seems willing to agree to a deal that will free the hostages. 

Despite these clear victories, Prime Minister Netanyahu is again delaying the deal and continuing a war that leads Israel nowhere. Once again he keeps us all in the same horrible loop, by insisting on more achievements that might make Hamas harden their positions, lead to a dead end in the negotiation, and potentially an even deadlier end for my sister and hundreds of other hostages who are suffering underground.

I know a deal is the only path forward. I know this intimately because on October 7th I was also kidnapped, along with my wife Yarden and our 3-year-old daughter, Geffen. Yarden, Geffen and I were taken at gunpoint from my parents’ home and driven to Gaza. However, right before the border we managed to escape. Yarden held our daughter in her arms and when she realized she could not run fast enough to escape the bullets ricocheting overhead, she handed Geffen over to me. I was able to run and hide in a ditch, covering Geffen with my body for hours. Yarden was captured again. For more than 54 days she was held hostage, not knowing that Geffen and I were safe. For 54 days I had to reassure Geffen every night that her mom was merely lost and that she would be reunited with her shortly. On November 29, after 54 days in terrifying captivity, Yarden came home to me. Her return, and the fact that our daughter can now grow up with her mom, is possible only because of a hostage release deal, a deal we thought would also bring Carmel home before it drew to a devastating halt. 

Yarden’s return happened more than seven months ago and since then we have seen no progress. 

When I was invited to fly with the prime minister I thought perhaps this would be a way to make sure that the issue of the hostages remains front and center as he meets with leaders and dignitaries in the United States. Maybe I could sit next to him on the plane and beg him to bring my sister back, telling him stories about Carmel that would tug at his heartstrings, stories of her kind nature, or the fact that released hostages shared she would lead yoga classes during their captivity to help them stay calm amid the terror. 

Perhaps I would take the opposite approach and shout when he meets with legislators that they must make him sign a deal. I was even willing to be a cheerleader sitting next to him quietly if I thought that would help bring my sister back. 

I thought I could be silent, hold my tongue but I cannot. I cannot travel alongside the man who can save my sister, but instead, is taking his time at the expense of her life. I worry that traveling with him could legitimize his decisions and actions so far. I will still be in Washington DC this week, and I plan to attend the prime minister’s address. However, I will not be traveling with his entourage. Rather, I will be using the opportunity to hold accountable the man who has failed my sister and my family. The man who is fighting for his personal political survival while his citizens are fighting for their lives and the lives of their loved ones. I am outraged that while I was dodging actual bullets, fleeing from terrorists with my daughter in my arms, while my sister is held at gunpoint in Gaza, Prime Minister Netanyahu is spending his time dodging political bullets and letting the hostages waste away.

I call on my Prime Minister to stand before the US Congress and announce a hostage deal. I will still be there, listening to his speech, hoping that he says (and does) the right thing. But if he fails to do that, I won’t be able to live with myself knowing that I stood by and did nothing while my sister suffered in Gaza. I don’t know how Prime Minister Netanyahu lives with this knowledge, but I will not.