Why I’m voting for Ben Carson

1.  He loves Jews.  Why else would he credit Joseph with building the Pyramids as grain storage silos? He knows what he knows and is too smart to be confused by the facts. "Joseph built the pyramids to store grain," he said.  Would Dr. Ben lie to us?

2. He saw the arrangement of the 13 5-pointed stars on the $1 bill as a Magen David, thereby establishing US support for Israel dating back 151 years before the founding of the modern state of Israel.  That's commitment.

3.  The Holocaust could have been prevented if the Jews of Europe had guns.  Take that, Adolph.

4. Ben has better sources than the CIA, NSA, DIA, DOD, NSC combined.   That's how he has proof  — not yet shared with anyone — that China is involved in the Syrian civil war when no one else knew about it.  

5. He justifies his lack of experience in elective office by pointing out that "every signer of the Declaration of Independence had no federal elected office experience." That's true, since there was no federal government at the time and wouldn't be for several years.  It doesn't count that that all signers were elected members of the Continental Congress, and most had been elected to assorted colonial legislatures, city councils and similar bodies.

6. God doesn't create homosexuality.  Prison does. "A lot of people who go into prison straight and when they come out they're gay." He believes "absolutely" that homosexuality is a choice, rather than biological.

7. He does not allow himself to get bogged down with, facts, substantive knowledge or any understanding of issues like all those fuzzy minded liberals.

8.  Muslims are not fit to be president of the United States, says the good doctor, who has yet to reconcile being an African-American in the white Christian party.

9. Transgender people "make everybody else uncomfortable" in bathrooms.

10.  “You know Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery"

11. The Supreme Court decision upholding marriage equality was "unconstitutional" because it overrules state actions, and he wants federal judges who vote to override the states to be removed.

12.  Immigration reform is a "nefarious" Obama scheme to bring new voters into the country who will be dependent on the government.

13.  He doesn't get bogged down with information.  He readily admits he can't name a single country or leader he would enlist in an international anti-ISIS coalition.  All that is necessary, he told Fox News, is we get out there and we really lead" and show some progress, and then all the Arab and non-Arab states will join.

14.  He wants to establish a no-fly zone over Syria and shoot down any Russian plane that violates it. Dr. Ben is confident that wimp Putin wouldn't dare shoot back.

15.  Obama's "social engineering" on gay and gender issues has degraded the military's "moral readiness" and poses a threat to national security. 

16.  On foreign and defense policy, he doesn't get bogged down with information overload.  In fact, his advisor and former CIA operative Duane Clarridge told the New York Times, "Nobody has been able to sit down with him and have him get one iota of intelligent information about the Middle East"

17. He will do whatever it takes to protect our civil liberties, even if it means removing them and suspending the First Amendment.  He'll start with a database to track Muslims in the US and monitor mosques, schools, organizations and then he'll move on to muzzle any media that he considers "anti-American."

18. He is the man to lead us to victory against Hummus in the Pita Wars.

19. He believes America is "very much like Nazi Germany" because "we now live in a society where people are afraid to say what they actually believe."  Does that include Dr. Ben?

22. There's a good reason why when he says these things people scratch their heads.  It's because "the liberal media distorted my remarks," he explained. They are out to destroy him by quoting him accurately.

23. Just kidding

About the Author
Douglas M. Bloomfield is a syndicated columnist, Washington lobbyist and consultant. He spent nine years as the legislative director and chief lobbyist for AIPAC.