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Ruby Chen

Why is the US, not Israel, leading negotiations to free my son?

I should not have to fly all over the world to ensure that those working to free Itay hear the hostage families’ position directly
A group of released hostages meets US President Donald Trump in the Oval Office on March 5, 2025. (White House/X)
A group of released hostages meets US President Donald Trump in the Oval Office on March 5, 2025. (White House/X)

It has been more than 500 days since my son, Itay Chen, was abducted by Hamas. But rather than putting my faith in the Israeli government that it is doing everything it can to redeem the hostages, I have never felt less confident that Jerusalem will indeed fulfill its responsibility to bring the remaining 59 hostages back home to their families.

Indeed, it pains me to admit that US special envoys Steve Witkoff and Adam Boehler seem to be more in our corner than Israel’s new leading negotiator to the hostage talks, Minister Ron Dermer.

Why is it that I and the other hostage families have more faith in President Donald Trump than in Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu?

Last week, I was once again in Washington DC, initiating meetings with US government representatives. At the same time, several freed hostages flew to the US capitol to meet President Trump and urge him to continue his efforts to have our brothers and sisters in captivity returned.

So I ask once again, why do we pin our hopes on the efforts of the US government rather than on Israel’s? Why did the returned hostages feel compelled to fly to DC and not to drive to Jerusalem?

During the Oval Office meeting between the freed hostages and the President, one of the Israeli hostages called the President a godsend.

It broke my heart.

One of the core reasons the Jewish State was created following the Holocaust was so that we wouldn’t have to rely on anyone else to protect our people – to guarantee that when we are in harm’s way, our country will do everything possible to ensure our safety.

Tragically, rather than relying on our own leaders to do so, we now turn our eyes to a foreign leader to do the job of the Israeli government. I was glad to see Special Envoy Boehler think outside the box and initiate direct talks with Hamas in the hope it kickstarts the discussions to release all of the remaining hostages. It is unfortunate to think that without Adam’s initiative, this week’s talks in Doha would not have taken place, and Israel would have been satisfied continuing to threaten Gaza with the resumption of war.

This is unacceptable.

Why isn’t Israel taking the necessary risks and actions to bring Itay and the other remaining hostages back? Why is the US setting a deadline for the release of the hostages rather than Israel? Why is Israel not fulfilling its obligations signed in January in Doha, which provide a pathway to the release of every last hostage?

These questions are not intended to be rhetorical. If I had satisfactory answers, perhaps I wouldn’t feel compelled, week after week, to fly to DC, to Doha, to Berlin to wherever negotiations may be taking place, to ensure that the various delegations working to free my son hear the hostage families’ position directly, as I am not convinced that the Israeli government is correctly representing our stance.

Some 50 years ago, Prime Minister Netanyahu’s brother, Yonatan Netanyahu, commanded a daring and risky army operation, flying thousands of miles to free over one hundred Israelis being held hostage in Uganda. Yoni gave his life to uphold the unshakable principle that has been a guiding light for Israel since its founding – one that seems to have been forgotten by the current Israeli government led by his brother Benjamin: That no one gets left behind.

The US has shown its willingness to lead with empathy and determination. These qualities should have been mirrored by Israeli leaders in order to give the families the closure they so desperately need.

That they are not doing so will forever be a blot on the history of the State of Israel and this Israeli government, which not only brought us this war, but has so far failed to enable redemption and healing for the people of Israel.

About the Author
Ruby and Hagit Chen are the parents of Itay Chen, a 19-year-old American member of the IDF who was stationed near Gaza on Oct. 7, 2023. Ruby and Hagit live in Israel with their two other children.