With apologies to Barbie – It’s literally impossible to be Jewish

With apologies to Barbie –

It’s literally impossible to be Jewish.

You have to be proud of your Jewish heritage, but don’t be too loud about it because you don’t want to draw too much attention.

You have to embrace your culture and traditions, but don’t act too different from everyone else. Celebrate your holidays, but don’t let them interfere with school or work.

You have to support Israel because it’s your homeland, but be careful how you talk about it—you don’t want to seem too political or offend anyone.

You have to stand against antisemitism, but don’t play the victim because people will say you’re exaggerating or that other groups have it worse.

You have to honor the memory of the Holocaust, but don’t make people uncomfortable by bringing it up too much. Remember the past, but don’t let it define you.

You have to be aware of Kashrut, but don’t be too picky about what you eat in front of others. Observe Shabbat, but don’t make it too inconvenient for anyone else.

You have to teach your children to be proud Jews, but also make sure they fit in with their non-Jewish friends. Pass down the stories and traditions, but don’t let them feel like they’re different or isolated.

You have to be knowledgeable about your religion, but don’t be too religious, because that’s old-fashioned. Be modern and progressive, but don’t lose touch with your roots.

You have to be successful, because Jews are supposed to excel, but don’t be too successful, because then people will accuse you of having too much power or privilege.

You have to be strong in the face of adversity, but don’t let it harden you. Be kind and forgiving, but don’t let people walk all over you.

You have to be a light unto the nations, but don’t outshine anyone.

And if all of this sounds exhausting, it’s because it is.

We’re expected to be everything, to everyone, at all times.

It’s impossible, but somehow, we keep going. We find strength in our traditions, in our community, in our faith. We carry the weight of our history, and we still stand tall.

Because we are Jewish. And that is enough.