Yaakov morphs from sheltered dweller of tents into his mother’s son (Vayetze)

I call my columns on the parsha, collectively, “Re-reading Humash for the First Time”. Like so many of my peers, I was raised and educated in an environment that had lost any awareness of the boundaries between Torah and Midrash. What we considered a literal take on the stories of our ancestors were actually the result of refraction through a cosmetic prism deployed by our Sages (HaZaL).

Recognizing all the problems that might trigger questions and raise doubt among the masses, the rabbis generated legends that layered the stories with facial cream, emoluments and plastic surgery that would steer us clear of the literal truth – the pshat. What we were given, instead, was the scriptural equivalent of an disfigured crone covered in pounds of camouflaging goop. It remains my hope to disabuse myself of the fiction and find greater meaning in the unvarnished truth.

A textual, non-midrashic overview of our Patriarchs and Matriarchs reveals a group of men and women who are no less – and perhaps a great deal more – humanly fallible than are we and our own parents and children. Indeed, what we come to see is how God has his plans and chooses his agents not BECAUSE of their perfection but DESPITE their, often colossal, shortcomings.

To see Avraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov, Sarah, Rivkah, Leah and Rahel as morally superior and, therefore, chosen people is to do us all, God especially, a huge disservice.

Before we move on to Parshat Vayetze – which is hardly an exception in this regard – perhaps we should consider how the catalog of foibles and characteristics that would disqualify anyone from being chosen for leadership by any human resource department are, in fact, the unifying factor that connects our patriarchs and matriarchs.

Every one of these personalities, and every one of their conjugal and filial relationships is problematic, to say the least. God chooses them not for their perfection but for their blemishes. The lesson for us is twofold:

1. That the Almighty works in mysterious ways. That the best laid plans of mice and men amount to naught. Avraham might prefer Hagar and Ishmael, and live at a great distance from his estranged Sarah, yet the dubious Yitzhak will be the carrier of the seed of Israel. Yitzhak can choose his beloved and devoted Esav, designating him as his blessed heir, but it is Yaakov whom God has in mind, no matter what that might take. Yaakov might wish for his precious Yosef to be the avatar of Israelite leadership. Yet, ultimately, that tribe is greatly diminished, and the crown goes to Yehudah while the kehunah goes to Levi.The lesson? Man thinks he is in charge. God proves otherwise. How often do we see men and women we would never imagine as success stories, reaching enormous heights whether in science, commerce or the arts? Yes, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and we are always surprised.
2. The lesson for us is that our flaws and mediocrity are not an excuse for shirking responsibility. Modesty is a nice characteristic but not if it is an justification for paralysis. Yes, we can deem ourselves unworthy, but this is no excuse for abdication. When the situation calls for action, we must act. We should not ruminate about our inadequacies. Avraham, Yitzhak, Yaakov, Yosef, Moshe, Aharon and David – indeed the entire cast of characters that comprise the ushpizin – make for very poor examples of husbands and fathers. Yet this did not deter them from becoming outstanding leaders, especially during challenging times.

Avraham and Sarah were hardly romantic lovers. They barely spoke to each other, if at all, and for the greater part of their marriage lived far apart – he in Beer Sheva, she in Kiriat Arba. When they were forced to be in proximity – i.e. when crossing into Egypt or Grar – we get no sense of either one being troubled by the inevitability of Sarah ending up in the Pharaoh’s harem.

There is no record of any words being spoken between Yitzhak and Rivkah UNTIL Rivkah decides to ship her preferred son to the house of Lavan (where he might learn to become a clone of herself) and finds it necessary to get her husband’s agreement.

But God wants what God wants. He wants Avraham to be the father of the Israelite People, and wants this accomplished through Sarah despite there being no evidence of Avraham’s preference for either Sarah or for her son to serve as the agents of destiny.

Yitzhak clearly prefers his elder son Esav. But God wants Yaakov to be the progenitor of our people, and so he manipulates the outcome via the agency of the brilliantly deceitful “sister of Lavan”.

Vayetze – the slow 20 year evolution of Yaakov

Parshat Vayetze is about the evolutionary growth – the slow boil – that resulted in the towering colossus who eventually becomes Yaakov/Yisrael the man and the patriarch.

Surely, Yaakov, like many great figures in history was voted least likely to succeed among his male peers.

“A naïve dweller of tents”  – איש תם יושב אהלים –  conjures up the image of a weak boy, lacking in courage, hanging out with those who dwell in tents, i.e. women and girls. The only skill he acquires is the ability to cook soup. He is quite literally tied to his mother’s apron strings.

Is it any wonder Yitzhak prefers the other twin Esav? Indeed, his hairy, red brother can hold his own in the outside world, he is intrepid. He does not need to feed off father’s herded flocks. Who knows how to go out and find himself both game and wives, and procreates bountifully. He looks and smells like a leader among men.

By contrast, Yaakov’s prospects are hardly obvious. His process of incubation and maturation is long, and requires serious maternal manipulation. He does not hit his stride until he is 60 years old, and even then he has a way to go.

Among living creatures, the more primitive the creature the more quickly it reaches full maturity. The human being – the most intelligent and sophisticated creature – takes the longest to develop; he walks later, communicates later, reproduces later. And, of course his capacity to think and reason and achieve intellectual depth and spiritual height is hardly instant.

In fact, even among humans there is a great disparity between when very average people reach their peak and when the very great reach theirs. Average people pretty much top out in late adolescence. They don’t really evolve much after that, if at all. Great thinkers and doers often go through a far longer process of turbulence, fits and starts, lows and highs before they peak and become the gifts to humankind for which they were destined.

Yaakov is a case in point. Unlike Esav who pretty much emerges from the womb whole cloth, and never really evolves beyond what we see in him as a child, Yaakov has to go through a very long process of physical, mental and spiritual gestation before graduating into Yisrael.

In order for this to happen it helps to have a shrewd and manipulative mother and  a very forgiving and a tolerant father figure (in this case God) who understands the foibles of youth and is willing to give a pass to his child when he acts in ways that betray his immaturity. After all, these are necessary stepping-stones in the process of growth. Most people are incapable of recognizing the inner genius and beauty of the human larvae during it glacial metamorphosis.

I am reminded of the brilliant short novel by Cynthia Ozick, Cannibal Galaxy, in which the principal of an Orthodox Jewish day school believes the child of a very prominent female philosopher is mildly challenged both socially and intellectually. He himself had been considered a wunderkind as a boy, dazzling everyone with an apparent brilliance. Later on this proves to be a flash in the pan. He ends up a ‘kleine menschele,’ the principal of a “bi-cultural” day school who panders to a parent body comprised of dentists’ and lawyers’ wives.

The novel ends with the now retired educator in his Miami Beach condo spending his days watching television. One day, he is tuned to an interview with a brilliant and world-celebrated young scholar and thinker who it turns out is that very girl he had thought was developmentally and social challenged. He is both flummoxed by what he sees and outraged that the young celebrity scholar gives no credit to him and his school for her stellar accomplishments.

Back to Yaakov.

Up to now Yaakov has been a naïve momma’s boy, and easily (and necessarily) manipulated by Rivkah in her prescient efforts to affect the course of history.

Yitzhak, apparently, sees no promise in the younger of his twin sons. He prefers Esav both for his maturity and for his filial love and devotion. Yitzhak is like the principal of Ozick’s bi-cultural Jewish day school. It is the shrewd and devious Rivkah who is the “חכם הרואה את הנולד,” the wise one who can recognize the embryonic potential.

In Parshat Vayetze, Yaakov undergoes the bulk of his evolutionary process before emerging toward the end of the parsha as an “איש”, a man, a force to be reckoned with. The final denouement of Yaakov – when he earns the title Yisrael comes in the subsequent parsha.

It is worth noting that when Rivkah – for it is Rivkah, not Yitzhak –ships Yaakov off to Haran, she sends him on his way penniless. Eliezer, whom Avraham and sent off on this same journey in order to fetch a bride for Yitzhak, had an entire caravan of camels laden with gold, silver and precious items with which to acquire a quality bride. Rivkah knew this very well as she was that bride which Eliezer brought back to Canaan. But she was not interested in Yaakov being a clone of his father. She had learned that lesson the hard way.

So why did Rivkah dispatch her beloved Yaakov with nothing but a stick in his hand and the clothes on his back? Because she did not want him to remain a spoon-fed nebbish. Yaakov had to grow up. And there’s no better way to become mature than a solo trek through the wilderness.

Note how the parsha opens by saying ויצא יעקב מבאר שבע וילך חרנה   – and Yaakov left Beer Sheva and went toward Haran It does not say וילך לחרן – and he want to Haran. The Torah is telling us that the journey itself was as important, if not more so, than the destination.

Rivkah understood this. She understood that Yaakov would have to contend with everything from finding food, to arranging a place to sleep, to dealing with all the terrors and nightmares of being alone for the first time in hostile territory. Furthermore, upon arrival in Haran, he wouldn’t have the gold nose rings and precious gifts that would grease his way into Lavan’s good graces, and land him a nice bride upon arrival.

Rivkah knew VERY WELL who Lavan was. After all she was אחות לבן, the sister of Lavan; every bit his equal in the shenanigans at which he excelled.

By shipping Yaakov off to Lavan penniless, Rivkah understood that he would be forced to cope with a steep learning curve. Indeed, it would take twenty years for Yaakov to earn his doctorate in Lavanology.

Vayetze open with Yaakov’s famous dream in which he sees God’s angels ascending and descending a ladder that connects earth and heaven. It is interesting that the angels first ascend and then descend. One would expect angels to descend first as their domicile is in the firmament.

What Yaakov is learning here is that the process of attaining great height involves a constant ascent interrupted by frequent descent.  It’s not easy street. The trajectory can never be smooth. It is always interrupted by setbacks and backsliding. What is needed in order to go the distance is time, patience and the ability to cope with the challenges and failures en route.

Having been spoken to by God in the dream, and promised infinite success and blessing, Yaakov – still an immature 40 year old adolescent– tries to make a deal with God the way a teenager might do:

וַיִּדַּ֥ר יַעֲקֹ֖ב נֶ֣דֶר לֵאמֹ֑ר אִם־יִהְיֶ֨ה אֱלֹהִ֜ים עִמָּדִ֗י וּשְׁמָרַ֙נִי֙ בַּדֶּ֤רֶךְ הַזֶּה֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אָנֹכִ֣י הוֹלֵ֔ךְ וְנָֽתַן־לִ֥י לֶ֛חֶם לֶאֱכֹ֖ל וּבֶ֥גֶד לִלְבֹּֽשׁ׃
וְשַׁבְתִּ֥י בְשָׁל֖וֹם אֶל־בֵּ֣ית אָבִ֑י וְהָיָ֧ה יְהֹוָ֛ה לִ֖י לֵאלֹהִֽים׃

And Yaakov made an oath saying, if God will stand by me and will guard me on this journey on which I go, and will provide me with bread to eat and clothing to wear … then God will be for me the Lord.
(Bereishit) 28:20-21)

The mature fully heroic Yaakov would never speak in such a small way. This is the talk of an adolescent who tries to negotiate with God (“If I get a 100 on the test I promise to be more religious”).

We would expect more of the Yaakov we come to know eventually. But he has a long way to go. God the father is tolerant, and does not rebuke Yaakov for his youthful foolishness.

Approaching the well, Yaakov sees Rahel. He is enamored of her as the daughter of Lavan “his mother’s brother”. For him, at this juncture, Lavan is a larger than life figure. He is in awe of the man, and lusts equally for both his daughter and his flock of sheep and effectively treats them both the same :

וַיְהִ֡י כַּאֲשֶׁר֩ רָאָ֨ה יַעֲקֹ֜ב אֶת־רָחֵ֗ל בַּת־לָבָן֙ אֲחִ֣י אִמּ֔וֹ וְאֶת־צֹ֥אן לָבָ֖ן אֲחִ֣י אִמּ֑וֹ וַיִּגַּ֣שׁ יַעֲקֹ֗ב וַיָּ֤גֶל אֶת־הָאֶ֙בֶן֙ מֵעַל֙ פִּ֣י הַבְּאֵ֔ר וַיַּ֕שְׁקְ אֶת־צֹ֥אן לָבָ֖ן אֲחִ֥י אִמּֽוֹ׃
וַיִּשַּׁ֥ק יַעֲקֹ֖ב לְרָחֵ֑ל וַיִּשָּׂ֥א אֶת־קֹל֖וֹ וַיֵּֽבְךְּ׃

And, when Yaakov saw Lavan’s daughter Rahel, and the sheep of Lavan his mother’s brother, and Yaakov drew closer and rolled the stone from over the mouth of the well, an gave drink to the sheep of of Lavan his mother’s brother.
And he kissed Rahel and lifted his voice and wept.
(Bereishit 29:10-11)

The words “vayashk” (and he gave to drink) and “vayishak” (and he kissed) are spelled identically – וישק. Clearly Yaakov is dazzled by both the man’s wealth and by his daughter.

Having fallen in love with Rahel, the rich man’s beautiful daughter, the way a poor teenager would fall in love, Yaakov is ready to offer anything to make her his bride.

He is hardly the shrewd negotiator when he offers Lavan the astronomical sum of seven years hard labor to earn Rahel’s hand;

וַיֶּאֱהַ֥ב יַעֲקֹ֖ב אֶת־רָחֵ֑ל וַיֹּ֗אמֶר אֶֽעֱבדְךָ֙ שֶׁ֣בַע שָׁנִ֔ים בְּרָחֵ֥ל בִּתְּךָ֖ הַקְּטַנָּֽה

And Yaakov loved Rahel, and he said I will serve you for seven years for Rahel your younger daughter
(29:18).

A more mature man would have driven a far harder bargain. The fact that Lavan readily agrees just shows what a naïve dupe Yaakov still  was with his impulsive offer. Someone like Lavan would never have accepted the first offer had it not been so outrageously high.

But not for long. It takes a full twenty years, but Yaakov gradually catches on. He uses this time to make his ascents and descents, to experience the requisite successes and failures that ultimately shape the man.

Yaakov’s immaturity is further manifested by his inability to realize that he was in bed with Leah rather than Rahel on his wedding night. Lavan had cleverly arranged a big party; “And Lavan gathered all the local people and he made a feast”. We can readily imagine that he did this with the intention of getting young Yaakov inebriated to the point that he would be unable to recognize the bait and switch, and thus get stuck with Leah whom he detested. A more mature man would not have allowed himself to be so easily manipulated.

At the same time there is certainly poetic justice in Yaakov being the victim of a deceptive switcheroo, just as he has done the same to his own father when he posed as Esav in order to get the blessing.  מידה כנגד מידה, measure for measure.

Over the course of two decades of hard labor and exposure to the ways and wiles of Lavan, Yaakov gradually gains the understanding and fortitude necessary to assert himself to his father-in-law;

תְּנָ֞ה אֶת־נָשַׁ֣י וְאֶת־יְלָדַ֗י אֲשֶׁ֨ר עָבַ֧דְתִּי אֹֽתְךָ֛ בָּהֵ֖ן וְאֵלֵ֑כָה כִּ֚י אַתָּ֣ה יָדַ֔עְתָּ אֶת־עֲבֹדָתִ֖י אֲשֶׁ֥ר עֲבַדְתִּֽיךָ׃

Give me my wives and my children for whom I have worked for you and I will go
(30:26).

This is a different voice from the Yaakov who first arrived twenty years earlier.

And now Yaakov trumps Lavan who asks him what payment he wants for services rendered to date. Shrewdly, Yaakov asks only for the speckled, spotted and brown sheep and goats that would be born to the flocks he would be shepherding. Yaakov ultimately outsmarts the shrewdest manipulator of all, and ends up with a huge flock. It is the result of years of careful observation and cultivation, of a scientific knowledge that he acquires on his own over time.

We now are introduced to a very different Yaakov — Yaakov the man:

וַיִּפְרֹ֥ץ הָאִ֖ישׁ מְאֹ֣ד מְאֹ֑ד וַֽיְהִי־לוֹ֙ צֹ֣אן רַבּ֔וֹת וּשְׁפָחוֹת֙ וַעֲבָדִ֔ים וּגְמַלִּ֖ים וַחֲמֹרִֽים׃

And the man increased exceedingly and had much cattle and maidservants, and menservants and camels and asses
 (30:43).

The “man” Yaakov is able to detect subtle changes in Lavan, and acts accordingly:

וַיַּ֥רְא יַעֲקֹ֖ב אֶת־פְּנֵ֣י לָבָ֑ן וְהִנֵּ֥ה אֵינֶ֛נּוּ עִמּ֖וֹ כִּתְמ֥וֹל שִׁלְשֽׁוֹם

And Yaakov saw Lavan’s face, and it was not like yesterday and the day before
(31:2).

Yaakov would have been incapable of recognizing such slight changes when he first arrived two decades earlier.

It is only now that God finally tells Yaakov to return to “your father’s” land (31:3). He is no longer (just) his mother’s child. He is now a man ready to return to Canaan and take charge of the full patrimony.