Derek Saker
Co-founder and CEO of

You’re Not a Cubic Zirconia! Don’t Sell Yourself Short in Online Dating

Like it or not, a single looking to get married, has to wear the hat of a marketer.

One has to put one’s very best foot forward, especially with all the trampling of thousands of other feet vying for that golden slipper.  And just as an astute businessperson would present a new product in attractive packaging, you would think most singles dating online would likewise work to best present themselves  – so as not to stay on the shelf, and pass their own best before date!


Be they photos dating back to early childhood and sitting on the potty , pictures obscured by an arresting police officer, or profiles littered with typos or cheesy poetry, many singles fail to realize the imperative to project their best qualities – visually and through the written word. At least, if they are genuinely interested in dating a like-minded individual with good qualities they themselves seek.

A Bad Picture Can Be Worth Thousands of Words!

Concerned by the number of unflattering pictures of nice looking people, some time ago we at (formerly, embarked on a campaign where members could have their pictures professionally taken at reduced prices.

Unsurprising was the immediate increase in online communications and dates.

However, some of the consequences were not quite what we expected…

Within weeks, we received some complaints from members that the people they went out with, were nothing like their pictures!! Now, there is of course one thing to leverage a flattering picture, quite another to Photoshop-out that triple chin!

Words Don’t Come Easy To Me…

Given the number of typos we observed in many profiles, we decided to integrate an automated spelling check into the system.

However at the last minute, we decided not to go ahead.


Because we felt that it might present an unrealistic picture of one member to another. If a single was taking dating seriously, we felt he or she would or should invest in the basics of spelling and grammer  – and if they did not – that aspect of themselves should not be hidden.

Indeed, honesty in pictures and words is always the best policy – which brings to mind another JWed Match – that of Jessica and Shimon.

Shimon had updated his profile more comprehensively and decided to include a good picture of himself. He had initially been reluctant to post a picture of himself, as bearded, he did not want wish to alienate any prospective match.  Some time later, he contacted Jessica – a member who’s profile included  the words of “I prefer clean shaven men!” But when Shimon replied with a subject line of “Hairy face, Shaved back,” and she saw a profile of depth and integrity – well, the rest is history.

You can view their success story by clicking here.

P.S. It does not have to be diamond engagement ring! Many wise women have opted for a cubic zirconia, focusing on the more important elements to a marriage.

About the Author's Derek Saker, is an internationalist having lived and worked in South Africa, England, the U.S. and Israel. Most importantly he speaks fluent Afrikaans. He moved from New York to London, England in 2019 for the weather and because his wife is English. He is co-founder and CEO of Frumster/JWed the most successful online Jewish dating for marriage service. Between 2007 and 2019, he was privileged to serve as Director of Communications at Ohel Children's Home and Family Services - the largest Jewish social service agency outside Israel. Derek is an Advisory Board Member of the National Jewish Assembly. (NJA)
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