Tel Aviv, February 3 – Sources in Israel’s Ministry of Defense confirmed today that the country would supply small arms to the island nation of Lilliput to shore up the government there in its ongoing conflict with neighboring Blefuscu.
Israel has been pursuing a diplomatic maneuver that observers have characterized as a “pivot to Asia,” emphasizing diplomacy and commercial ventures with countries in the Far East as relations with Europe and other Western states have become more tense. Lilliput, located in the Indian Ocean, represents an additional potential ally to help cushion Israel against a downturn in ties with increasingly hostile Europe, and, to a lesser extent, the US.
Defense analysts called the small-arms aid to Lilliput a good fit. “Some countries only think big in terms of their military ties, but Israel found a more than workable match with Lilliput,” says Sy Zdosnet-Madder of Jane’s. “Lilliput has little use for heavy equipment or an armored corps, given the size and relative isolation from most enemies.” The island nation’s needs have always been defensive, and items such as tanks and an air force would have limited utility there. “Small arms are the way to go,” he said.
Representatives of the Lilliputian government declined to give more than a brief comment. “We prefer not to make a big deal of this,” they said.
Tensions between Lilliput and Blefuscu have simmered for centuries, and occasionally flared up in open warfare. Though small-scale by Western standards, the fighting has been fierce, with Blefuscu on at least one occasion conquering Lilliput until the locals staged a successful revolt. Continued conflict revolves mainly around Blefuscu’s alleged attempts to meddle in Lilliput’s internal political affairs even at the smallest level.
Analysts explained Lilliput’s official reticence on the deal as stemming from a concern that Belfuscu would attempt a similar move. “Since the entire concern of Lilliput is maintaining internal sovereignty, they’re reluctant to start a cycle of alliances with ever-bigger international players that will eventually result in outside control over Lilliput and its resources,” explains Lemuel Gulliver, a Briton with extensive personal experience with Lilliput.
Israeli Ministry of Defense representatives professed no knowledge of reported contacts with Winkies to supply them with advanced models of flying monkeys.
(For more of David’s silliness visit PreOccupied Territory.)