26 tricks for speaking like Donald Trump, and 32 ways on how to defeat him in debate and campaign

Credit where credit is due, the 45^th President of the USA is one of the most successful communicators in US history. How does he do it?

1. Think about whom you are talking to (a Trump rally, Congress) and say exactly what they want to hear. Appreciate them out loud.

2. No need to exaggerate anything. You can completely make it up. Inconsistencies confuse only the enemies – which is fun to watch.

3. Saying two conflicting things (even in one breath) is very useful, because later you can prove that you were right, by quoting one.

4. When someone confronts you about a relative untruth, just look pained and full of disdain for having to gaze at a petty hairsplitter.

5. Make sure you always mention plenty of things that make your opponents fume. When people are outraged or spooked, they can’t think as well. Enjoy their negative inapt responses; degrade the protesters. Be macho about having a good fight with loosers.

6. Don’t apologize or be defensive ever. It looks weak. No one likes it. Counter-attack. Turn the spotlight on others. Don’t argue – accuse them of far worse things. It works. Believe me.

7. Learn to speak well. To hell with grammar. Mix long with short and unfinished sentences. Swap fast words with slower ones. Alternate exclamations with soft-spoken words. Sometimes frown and sometimes smile. Vary between “presidential” and working-class style. Move your hands, fingers and that body – don’t stand there frozen. Don’t speak like a bore. Be entertaining and fun. Put the most important points in sentences last and pause before saying them, slowly and in an undertone. Add more emphasis by affixing a few words like: So true; So sad; Pathetic; Believe me; It will.

8. Connect to and interact with your public. Point and smile / attack. Don’t just talk at them as if they were an amorphous dead blur.

9. Don’t try to impress with brainy stuff. Keep it simple. Short sentences, 95% one- and two-syllable words. So good.

10. Coin three-word three-syllable slogans: Build That Wall, USA, Lock Her Up, Drain The Swamp, We Will Win. They don’t oblige. They’re just fun. They empower. They show and build unity in a crowd.

11. Show your power by judging and grading people, calling them bad, good. Your fans would love to receive your personal praise.

12. Don’t listen to critics – fight them. What do they know?

13. Speak directly to the working class men, as if you’re a successful one-of-them and their representative. “They’re not the elite; we are the elite.” They’ll like you for it and so will many of the working class women. Press all their hot buttons.

14. Most of them know that you are making it up as you go, but as poor people, they vicariously stare at royalty and love fairytales.

15. Speak in simple words of “your” lofty ideals and contrast that with bad bad people who do and want bad, very bad things. Keep it simple: people are either for you and good, or the failing enemy.

16. Make fun of euphemisms, political correct language and ideas.

17. Never make fun of an oppressed group when you have a weaker one that asks for it. So: don’t take on gays; attack transgenders; not the elderly but the crippled; not Blacks but Latinos.

18. After you said that all people are equal you can make fun of as many oppressed as you want – but never blue-color workers, veterans and service men and women (unless they’re trans). Disrespecting others doesn’t work for Jews and intellectuals.

19. For the working class, tone is everything. Words are for smart-asses. Sound as if you enjoy your power and mean it.

20. Only refer to TV, never to written text. Cultivate and flaunt all that the working class identifies with (meat & ketchup, illiteracy).

21. Owning-class style, combine entitlement (golden wallpaper) with being simple (liking ketchup) and speak the same way: as if with a big ego (helped by big money) and simple (helped by dyslexia).

22. Never sound for too long as self-important career politicians.

23. Treat debate lightly, as a football match – may the best win.

24. Use nostalgia: restore our great history, we’ll be great again.

25. When faced with someone who wants to argue you on facts, you don’t have to give them any. Best to flood him with words and half sentences. Intuitive people will get the gist or will like the sound of it, and it will leave intellectuals confused and speechless.

26. Stay on the big picture. Don’t do details. Details are for loosers.

That was fun, wasn’t it? Now, how to win a debate with the Donald:

1. Practice the above points so that he can’t surprise you. Get the method into your system.

2. Never get angry. Reply with mildness, understatements and humor, like: Naughty boy. That was fun, no? We all know that’s not true: you know it, we know it and they know it. You love to play the inconsiderate bully but in your heart of hearts you are plain truly ruthless (say it with a chuckle).

3. Credit him. You have broken so many records; it’s a record how many records you’ve broken. You practically write history while you go. Always full of surprises. I’m sure all masochists love you.

4. Credit where credit is due. You’re such a great speaker. You’re such a good salesperson. I would never buy a secondhand car from you but you’ve a great pitch.

5. Credit him for putting the working class on the political map.

6. Differentiate between lying salesman and cheated customers. We blame you for lying, but your supporters not for liking you.

7. Stress that you know that he’s not a sexist, racists, anti-Semite or Nazi. He’s “just” a complete idiot on bigotry. But his heart is in the right place – just under his wallet. Feel free though to call his reign evil.

8. Don’t treat him like a nobody; that’s how his fans feel. Treat him like a master crook: impressive but wicked. Like watching any top robber, how could we not be in awe of him? He needs to face the consequences of his scheming, but we can’t help admiring him.

9. We all know that much of his critics were just motivated by jealousy. Bad character trait. Bad loosers. We won’t go there.

10. We know that many of your fans just wanted to believe you – not that they actually did for any length of time. They’re not fools.

11. Speak of the goodness, pride, power, endurance and hope of blue-color workers. Mention the middle class too. But the forgotten men and women have just been remembered and conned by a crook – don’t blame or abandon them – again.

12. Speak about sexism, racism, anti-Semitism, adultism and all oppression but connect them to how they are part of a network of oppressions that oppresses workers, exploits them economically. Don’t let anyone play oppressed groups against each other.

13. Try to be proud and strong, not arrogant and don’t pout.

14. Stress the importance of national pride, not as a put down on other nations but as something that unites us. When all working together, we can do the impossible.

15. Be truthful, be reliable and make apologizing look good.

16. Explain by telling stories, or by comparing things to relationships.

17. Sing songs of hope with your crowd; make rallies fun.

18. Be light and funny; use humor, not hate.

19. Learn to speak well. To hell with grammar. Mix long with short and unfinished sentences. Swap fast words with slower ones. Alternate exclamations with soft-spoken words. Sometimes frown and sometimes smile. Vary between “presidential” and working-class style. Move your hands, fingers and that body – don’t stand there frozen. Don’t speak like a bore. Be entertaining and fun.

20. Distance yourself from interests of the rich; speak for the rest. But do invite them to join and become workers – a gratifying life.

21. Explain why to stay away from hurtful speak: it degrades us. The strong take pride in protecting less-fortunates, not hurting them.

22. We must use neutral things only for the positive: nationalism: for pride and belonging, not for festering wars and selfishness; police and military: for safety for all, we honor all those who put their lives on the line, not for brutality; healthcare: for healing all.

23. When the working class prospers, everyone will prosper. Money trickles up, not down.

24. Do you want censured media whose coverage can only be published when it’s found factual? Who should be these honest checkers and judges? Should twitters, speeches and interviews by the president get the same scrutiny?

25. Although a lot is at stake, treat the debate as a football match – may the best win.

26. Say over and over again that the dirty little secret about Donald Trump is that his assignment is to make the rich richer again and the surrounding drama is just fuss and smokescreen to distract us.

27. I understand that honesty may be bad for business but this isn’t.

28. I want to apologies for all the years, decades, centuries, generations that you, the working class and the poor, have been ignored by the politicians. Our slaves were freed and racism is challenged; women got voting rights and sexism is challenged; but most of the political world was comfortable with ignoring your humanity. Donald Trump discovered you, but only to use you to rip you off. No more. The strength of any nation, its “simple” people, is going to be the bedrock of our politics from now on.

29. Life is not always easy. If you like all what a speaker says, he must be lying. Nice statements are not enough – trust must be won. What’s someone’s history that you should trust them? Someone who talks your language can be your pall or a con artist. It’s good if you got suspicious – trust must be won. Check the serious media.

30. You could be fooled because you’re decent. Let’s get rid of the crooks but hold on to your integrity.

31. Don’t ever let any rich or clever guy get away with playing White and non-White workers against each other.

32. I feel bad for decent Republicans being represented by a ruffian.

About the Author

MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. * As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. * This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2000 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe too, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. * His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1