It’s election time, so here are some great reasons to vote for those guys.
- They’re the best this country has to offer, if you exclude nearly everyone except for them.
- They have only the interests of this country at heart. They happily make sacrifices to move the nation forward.
- They treat women like equals, as seen by the number of women on their lists.
- They come back from criminal convictions to serve us again, only to commit more crimes, but everyone deserves another chance, and another, and another…
- They’ll reduce judicial friction on political decisions because they know that they’ll be in power forever. What could possibly go wrong?
- They’re led by mature adults, not by gun-toting maniacs who act like 17-year-old, testosterone-driven youth movement members who forgot to grow up and will likely shoot someone someday, having previously threatened the prime minister.
- You’re religious, they’re religious. ‘Nuff said.
- You hate everyone who isn’t like you.
- You enjoy paying high taxes to support parts of our society who refuse to work.
God help us.