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Aron Schoenfeld

A Barbecue before Battle: The War, One Year Later

Soldiers at BBQ at the Schoenfeld residence. Photo credit: Aron Schoenfeld
Soldiers at BBQ at the Schoenfeld residence. Photo credit: Aron Schoenfeld

A little over a year ago, my friend Phil came to Israel with his family, full of love for this land and its people. Phil is a true Zionist, a person who doesn’t just talk about supporting Israel but lives it. Through his involvement in the Helping Israel Fund, he had brought funds to buy soldiers meals. But by summer’s end, he still had some money left, as it seemed every tourist here had the same idea: a meal for a soldier. He turned to me to make it happen, and we planned a barbecue at my home on the night before Yom Kippur for 35 young soldiers, recent draftees, from our section of Modiin.. They were just kids, barely out of school, with big dreams and futures ahead.

Hosting that barbecue felt different than the usual gestures of support we might have done back when we were tourists. This wasn’t a generic donation or a brief encounter with strangers. These kids grew up in our community, probably went to school with my own children, maybe had siblings who shared classrooms with them. It was personal now. My wife and I went all out, setting up a barbecue that would show them the appreciation that words couldn’t capture. And as the soldiers arrived, one by one, it felt like welcoming family into our home.

Throughout the evening, I spoke to each of them. I learned about their roles, the tanks they drove, the intelligence missions, the patrols, the plans they had for after the army. We laughed, shared stories, and swapped recommendations for vacation spots they dreamt of visiting on their post army trips. They were just kids, with hopes as simple as a good night’s sleep, a warm meal, and dreams as big as any of ours.

Then, a week later, everything changed. October 7. Those same kids I had welcomed as friends were now soldiers in every sense, rushing to gather their gear, to answer the call to defend us at the Gaza border. The innocence that had filled our barbecue was shattered. Their youth—so vivid, so real—was stripped away in a moment. Some witnessed horrors no person should ever have to see, losing friends, facing battle wounds, enduring trauma. They became something beyond young men and women; they became warriors, thrust into the stark realities of conflict. In minutes, their childhoods evaporated, replaced by an unimaginable weight.

Before this war, barbecues at my house were community gatherings, a chance to connect, to share, and to laugh with friends. Twice a year, we’d invite nearly a hundred people over, celebrating special times on Sukkot and Pesach Sheini, commemorating moments that meant something to us as a family. But now, as I think of the next gathering, I feel a heaviness. There is no joy in imagining another barbecue when those who once gathered as kids are now braving the front lines.

When I picture a future barbecue, it’s different. It’s not about tradition or holidays or even community; it’s about those soldiers, those young people who should have been just that—young. I imagine hosting a feast, a celebration of survival, a testament to resilience, welcoming each of those 35 soldiers back home, safe and whole. In this vision, there’s peace, and there’s gratitude, and there’s healing.

May that day come soon. Until then, we wait, holding onto the hope that the boys and girls we once shared an evening with will return as more than just warriors but as survivors, carrying with them not just the scars of battle but the strength to rebuild their lives.

About the Author
Aron is the founder of SmilesfortheKids.com, a grassroots organization that providing support and nourishment for the families of IDF soldiers, while at the same time supporting local vendors whose businesses are in shatters because of the war.
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