A beautiful life: Zechariah Haber z”l

On January 16, 2024, the knock that every Israeli parent who has kids serving in the army dreads arrived at our door. We were notified by army representatives that our 32-year-old son, Zechariah Pesach Haber z”l, a kind, gentle, fun, modest, and brilliant devoted husband and father of three young children, a talmid chacham (Torah scholar), and a promising young scientist, was killed in battle in Gaza while on reserve duty.

Zechariah’s death followed months of terrible anxiety about his safety while on duty and is a massive, excruciating loss that has irreparably changed our lives for the worse. When people ask how I am doing now, I struggle to respond. We are blessed to have three other wonderful sons, caring daughters-in-law (including Zechariah’s amazing wife Talia), and adorable grandchildren. We are deeply grateful for those blessings. We are also grateful for the kindness of family, friends, acquaintances (and strangers). In parallel, though, we are devastated by Zechariah’s death and wake up every day to a fresh round of grief. 

As part of our efforts to cope with our loss, we have been actively engaged in memorializing Zechariah, working with Talia to ensure that as many people as possible can learn about him. Our response to anyone who asks if we would like them to memorialize Zechariah in any way, big or small, is a resounding yes (you can see a few of those items at www.zechariahhaber.com/projects) — we appreciate them all.  

Our own efforts at memorializing Zechariah are varied, since Zechariah’s life reflected a wide range of interests and passions — Torah, agricultural science, Hebrew poetry, hiking his beloved land of Israel, and showing concern for residents of Israel’s southern region by celebrating part of every Yom HaAtzmaut down south. We would like to honor them all, so our efforts have included: arranging for a comprehensive halachic encyclopedia that he wrote without our knowledge during his hesder yeshiva studies at Yeshivat Har Etzion to be published by the yeshiva, raising money for a memorial program of academic prizes and seminars at Tel Aviv University’s Faculty of Plant Science and Food Security, where he did his doctoral research (for which he was posthumously awarded his PhD), making sure his astonishing piyut (poem/song) in honor of Shavuot, “Mincha Chadasha,” was published with his commentary (following which Talia arranged to have the singing duo Yonina compose a magnificent melody for it), and organizing a beautiful memorial Yom HaAtzmaut hike in the South.  

While indeed varied, I can say that all of these projects have one thing in common: we are adamant on focusing on projects that celebrate Zechariah’s extraordinary, optimistic, happy life and not on his tragic death. We believe strongly that this war is justified and necessary, but we do not want it to eclipse the beauty of the way Zechariah lived his life — with such purpose, passion, and kindness.

We are very proud of his heroism in this war, but it is far from the sum total of his life. It is awful enough that Hamas ended his life at the age of 32; we are determined that Hamas will not also succeed in erasing the extraordinary life that preceded that terrible knock on the door.

On that note, we hope that readers of this blog who find themselves in south Jerusalem will consider visiting a memorial garden that we are sponsoring at Beit Knesset Shai Agnon in the Arnona neighborhood, which will be known as “Ginat Zechariah.” It will be open to all and we hope it will provide visitors a tiny glimpse into the amazing life Zechariah led, as well as a brief respite from the terrible news that can often feel relentless.

We would be grateful if you would please take some time to sit on a bench in the garden (you can first pick up coffee and a delicious danish at the adjacent Lechem Shel Tomer bakery!) and think about  Zechariah’s life and about the lives (preceding October 7th) of other fallen soldiers and of victims of the October 7th massacres. Let’s not let Hamas (or Hezbollah) rob those lives of the beauty they possessed on October 6th. While the losses of those beautiful souls cannot be undone, at least we can honor the good they created while they were here on this earth with us.