A fine line between giftedness and rudeness

Several years ago, I had the privilege of teaching English to a group of gifted students. A truly international group. What a great and enriching journey it was. Now, gifted students, and later gifted adults, see the world differently from others. It’s a more intense view of the world that you can’t really explain to those who don’t have the same level of intellectual intensity. Kazimierz Dąbrowski, a Polish psychiatrist, came up with the term overexcitabilities to explain how the gifted see the world.

To quote:

”Overexcitabilities are inborn intensities indicating a heightened ability to respond to stimuli. Found to a greater degree in creative and gifted individuals, overexcitabilities are expressed in increased sensitivity, awareness, and intensity, and represent a real difference in the fabric of life and quality of experience. Dąbrowski identified five areas of intensity- psychomotor, sensual, intellectual, imaginational, and emotional. A person may possess one or more of these.”

Gifted students, who can even be geniuses, aren’t easy to deal with, regardless of the culture. They don’t respond to traditional models of authority and you need to amaze them if you want their respect and – subsequently – attention. Shouting at them and trying to intimdate them isn’t going to work. They aren’t going to listen to such teachers. To the gifted, such behavior screams insecurity and they see right through it.

For example, if you teach English, you must amaze the gifted with your vast vocabulary. Now, I know a lot of parents truly think their child is gifted. That’s natural. I’m sorry, but that’s just not the case most of the time. Giftedness is pretty rare. It’s easier for a teacher to say that your kid has potential, of course, because then the teacher gets left alone. You get paid to teach, so why would you alienate your employers (parents)? Common sense, right? If you just keep being honest and keep telling your students that they are terrible, heck, average, their parents won’t be pleased. We live in strange times. Almost every parent wants their kid to be the star. It’s the case in Poland and I’m sure it’s the case in Israel. I have a tremendous amount of respect for teachers in these twisted times. It’s tough. Really tough, meandering between all sorts of entitled people who want their kids to be geniuses, but they clearly aren’t. As we teachers say in Polish behind closed doors when no parents are present and we can be honest, ”prochu to on nie wymyśl.” He won’t invent gunpowder. Meaning: just your average mind.

Be it English, Hebrew, or whatever it is you want to teach – it’s such a waste when gifted students are in an environment that impairs their zest to learn. And, one must bear in mind, the gifted are lateral thinkers – they connect the dots in non-traditional ways that might not so much amaze, but unnerve and even infuriate, more traditional teachers from more traditional backgrounds.

Coming across a gifted student, indeed, a gifted person, for the first time can be daunting because one doesn’t have the mental road map and can misinterpret the student’s/person’s curiosity and intensity as being a spoiled brat, ad infinitum. And then, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy from there. Such a shame. Instead of cultivating giftedness, and potential genius, the teacher-student battle begins.

Here we see how the teacher – intimidated by the student’s intellect – becomes defensive. And that’s the moment the teacher loses the gifted student.

So, who do the gifted resonate with? Yep, you guessed it. Fellow smartasses of all ages and walks of life. The gifted can senses if one belongs to the club. It’s like their sixth sense. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Hebrew scholar, a physicist or a rabbi – the energy of giftedness, that aura you give off, will be sensed by the ones from the gifted club. Elitism? No. Just life. Here you see how the gifted student treats a highly intelligent teacher very differently.

Giftedness. Both a blessing and a curse in our society.

So, if you come across a child or an adult for that matter – who unnerves you, makes you mad, and so on – you aren’t necessarily dealing with a jerk but someone gifted who sees things very differently. Or, if you’re in the gifted club, you’ve found a kindred spirit.

Let’s not forget about the positive discrimination – you’re aware of the Jewish genius stereotype, I’m sure. As such, people can be inclined to ask a Jew for financial advice, and so on, just because the underlying assumption is that the Jews are smarter and good with money. True or not, that’s the stereotype in many people’s minds, their mind map. Same with Asians and their alleged ability to excel at math. It doesn’t matter how true these are; mind maps formed in the minds of millions, maybe more, across the planet, are deeply biased. So don’t forget to flip the script here – negative stereotypes, yes, but there’s also the other side of the coin. While it seems like a compliment, it’s not, because it puts whole nations in a perceptual straitjacket. Can these stereotypes be reversed? It’s a daunting, if not impossible, task. You need generations for that. Starting from scratch. Not realistic. Sadly, one needs to grin and bear it. After working in China, I know how hard, how foolhardy, the cultural crusades are.

Not everyone’s going to think like you want them to about who you are as a person and as a member of a particular nation. Accept it. Use it to your advantage if these stereotypes are positive.

Whatever your story, and cultural background – don’t dismiss the gifted who exist in all cultures and come in all shapes and sizes – they can be a great asset – be it as students or employees. Give them a difficult task that aligns with their interests and they are going to excel. Alienating them only works to your detriment. Better to have the gifted as allies.