I watched a film once called “Act like a lady, think like a man” and boy did I love it.
Why did I like it so much? Because this is something I have always gone by. Well, especially for the last number of years. I have taught myself to think like a man due to not wanting to get hurt when dating or in a relationship, and I guess it has worked for me.
I see my female friends and how devastated they get when a guy doesn’t call them or take them or act so interested, whereas my male friends are so blasé. So this was what I wanted. I never wanted to be the girl that becomes obsessive or insecure so instead, I have acted like a man to dismiss disappointment.
The film is based on a book with the same name by Steve Harvey. I loved that he wrote this book and is so easily letting women into a man’s head, giving us the secrets of what men really think. He says, “Too many women are clueless about men and men get away with a whole load of stuff when it comes to relationships because women have never understood how men think.”
Now how true is that? How many of you females are reading this thinking, shit, I never know what he is thinking! So try to think like him. I haven’t read this book but here I will go through a few things that I saw in the film, what I know or what has worked for me in the past.
Firstly, men are simple. Simple, divine characters. They are driven by who they are, what they do and how much money they make. If he is still looking for his goals or dreams then NEVER be the girl that stands in his way. Do not try and get all of his attention on to you. Be the chilled girl that lets him get on with what it is he needs to do and give him support. Men love it when a girl is supportive.
Secondly, date like a man. When you are in the dating pool you want to have fun. As a girl, if you are going on a date with a guy during the week, you know that there will be no other dates that week as women are always hoping the next date will be the right date and turn into something. Not for men, men are going on numerous dates in the week. They do not go to the date thinking “she could be the one!” No, they go thinking this will be a fun way to pass the evening and I may even get lucky. So ladies, multi date! Keep your expectations low and meet different guys before falling in love with your Tuesday night date.
Third, be independent. Guys love a girl that does her own thing. ‘Squeeze’ him into your schedule when you can. Don’t ever change your plans to meet a guy. He can wait, and if he likes you, he most certainly will. If you have interests and commitments outside of your relationship, he will be kept interested.
Fourth, Harvey says men are like fishermen – but women are actually the ones looking for a good catch. You won’t be able to find one, though, until you up your standards. “You’ve got sports fishermen, and you’ve got guys out there fishing to eat. You’ve got guys that are fishing to keep the fish, and you’ve got guys that are fishing to catch them, unhook them and throw them back,” Harvey says. “You’ve got to determine along the way which one of the fish you’re going to be.”
Fifth, let him be him. Girls, do not try and control your man. Be smart, if he is not looking for something serious, do not act like you are the one girl that is going to change him. Just because you are dating and being intimate and doing all the right things, does not mean he will change his mind. If you want a night with him to watch the Notebook but he has poker night with the boys, do not interrupt that, let him do his thing! When you try to change your partner that is when they start to resent you
Ladies, when it comes to sex remember one thing, you have the vagina. The one thing the man wants. When he says “it isn’t about sex,” don’t believe him. It is always, deep down, about sex. So control it, if he likes you, he will chase you for it.
Stay classy, stay respectful, have standards and control the game 😉