Talking about my rumination

If dealing with trauma weren’t enough after two years of war here in Israel, I’ve noticed another challenging psychological byproduct: nonstop rumination.

This rumination takes the form of endless arguments in my head with people attacking me and my country—not only about Israel’s policies but about our very right to exist. I take the bait more often than I’d like to admit. Sometimes I feel like a moth to a flame, especially when the legitimacy of my home is attacked by family, friends, former colleagues, and on social media. When the very essence of who I am is attacked, threatened, and delegitimized, it’s hard not to feel defensive, regardless of whether I support everything my country is doing or not.

Too often, I find myself inventing situations where I’m presenting facts, making my points, and ultimately besting my imaginary opponent—only to replay this tape over and over on the same loop. This is rumination.

So, What Actually Is Rumination?

Rumination is repetitive thinking about the same problem, fear, or emotional wound without arriving at a resolution. It feels like you’re “working on the problem,” but you’re actually spinning in circles. Rumination feels repetitive, sticky, intrusive, emotionally heavy, and rarely helpful.

For me, it’s a way to avoid feeling my feelings. With rumination, I run in a purely cognitive loop while keeping deeper emotions at bay. It’s that liminal space between consciousness and the unconscious. Much of what happens in these ruminations connects to challenging core feelings I have about myself. When I’m attacked and feel dysregulated or overwhelmed, my mind chooses rumination over feeling the deeper emotions underneath: sadness, fear, shame, grief.

Rumination makes complete sense as a protective strategy. My mind tells me rumination will prevent disaster: “If I think about it enough, I’ll stay safe. If I replay it, I won’t mess up again.” Rumination gives me a false sense of solving or preparing.

Interestingly, the term comes from “ruminants”—animals like cows, sheep, and goats with specialized multi-chambered stomachs that allow them to ferment plant-based food before digestion. The central characteristic of ruminant animals is rumination or “chewing their cud.” Hence, rumination for humans is often just chewing our mental cud.

Here Are Some Practical Tools to Interrupt the Loop

1. Grounding (Stop the Loop Fast)

Look around and name:

• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can feel
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste

Why it helps: Pulls your brain out of thinking mode and back into your senses.

2. Describe the Room Out Loud

Say simple facts: “Blue pillow. Wooden table. Window.”

Why it helps: Your brain can’t analyze and observe at the same time.

 Why This Matters

Rumination is a perfectly normal response. The human mind is wired to solve problems, make sense of experiences, and anticipate threats. When something feels unresolved or emotionally charged, the brain naturally loops back to gain control or clarity. From an evolutionary perspective, replaying events helped us learn from mistakes and stay safe.

Given what I, my family, friends, and so many loved ones have been through since October 7th—when the world changed for the Jewish people collectively and personally—I remind myself that rumination is normal, understandable, and human, and that I deserve self-compassion for this unconscious protective response.