America’s Beef With Bashar al Assad of Syria (Satire)

Islamic Terrorism had caused such an uproar in the House and Senate that Obama decided it was time to restore some order and quickly stripped ISIS, the biggest or rather the most brutal terrorist group of its Islamic leanings! Before that Obama had been caught napping aka golfing and the House and Senate, tired of Obama’s game, decided to concentrate on Syria which was familiar territory with its dictators and all: dictatorship being full blown anathema for American politicians. Consequently, they lumped all terrorist threat on Syrian Dictator Bashar al Assad’ nose! What they didn’t know was that Bashar too was hanging dearly onto his nose because of all kinds of rebels aka other terrorists hovering perilously close to his castle. Poor Bashar, his nose had a twin threat now: American and ISIS brutality. American politicians didn’t really care to know the difference between good dictators and bad dictators; they just didn’t like Dictators. Period.

So, who exactly are the rebels that Bashar is screaming about? In a nut shell, ALL of them; they have a beef with Bashar mainly because he is non-Sunni and isn’t bothered with establishing an Islamic Caliphate like ISIS. Bashar is happy as a clam, torturing his people, amassing billions, living the good life of a dictator; but those barbarians by the name of ISIS must spoil everyone’s fun. Who cared about an Islamic Caliphate full of degenerates, uncouth and uncivilized beings?

America's Beef with Dictators
America’s Beef with Dictators

Across the ocean, Obama and rest of his administration are too exhausted to sift through various shades of Islamic terrorism. A better suggestion for Obama to end Bashar’s beef or ISIS’ beef or Rebels’ beef or their own- would be to make good use of those bombs sitting around for no reason, getting wasted; Obama might as well feel like a Commander in Chief directing bomb traffic towards all rebels, irrespective of their affiliations. This would effectively end all rebel thought and action with one bomb, so to speak. The next administration can deal with after-Bashar-scenario because Islamic terrorism was not going anywhere for a while.

There is an additional thing Obama could try doing to make some sense of perpetual mess in MiddleEast: understand that Bashar of Syria was not a Sunni; he is an Alawite, an offshoot of Islam or apostate as far as ISIS was concerned. Bashar has probably lost his hair trying to explain this to Obama and his administration. Uncannily enough, more than half of public in America has also lost its hair and brains trying to figure out why Obama does or does not do certain things. Unbeknown to America, ISIS can easily end Bashar’s misery with their fire power, direct commands from Allah, and support from different rebel groups operating in Syria. Obama has no such help; he has to wait for another poll directing him how and when to act; it’s the people he wants to listen to; he hasn’t heard them for six years now! America can tolerate communists, liberals, socialists, radicals, haters, beheaders, fake feminists, but not Dictators! ISIS can stay but Bashar al Assad has to go!

About the Author
Joyce Singha has a Master's Degree in Films and Communications as well as Post Graduate Degree in Homeopathy. Her literature, writing and political background helps her achieve a comprehensive view of global politics. Humor is an essential ingredient to her life and writing. She writes for Yahoo, Wikinut, Bubblews and her own Blog:
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