Let’s get clear on what we know and what we don’t know yet
Recent US polls suggest that more young people call themselves not (just) Straight, ranging from 23% to 30%! An important question is why.
This rate is substantially higher than for Millennials (around 14-16%), Gen X (around 4-7%), and Baby Boomers (around 2-4%). In Gen Z, more than half of those identifying as LGBTQ+ identified as bisexual.
This trend is not limited to the U.S., as an Ipsos poll found 17% of Gen Z across 26 countries identified as non-heterosexual. (Israel wasn’t polled!)
Liberating Personal Identity
First of all, identities help people find homes, belonging, and safety. Self-labeling can help liberation; labeling others is often oppressive.
It should be a recognized human right for everyone to label themselves however they want. If someone wants to call themselves Jewish, it should be their right. It’s up to existing Jewish groups whether to recognize them.
So, the only attitude toward whatever someone calls themselves must be respect for the identity. It does not mean everyone must agree with it.
Psychology holds that sexual and gender identities ought to describe what people feel, dream of, feel attracted to, or repulsed by, while I think they should reflect the immutable identities that are inscribed into the human brain around birth. Passions and fantasies can change; neurobiological identities cannot. Therein lies the whole failure of conversion therapy.
All the above is different from giving others a political label, like racist.
New Liberating Personal Identities
So, when a group just declares to be Jews, for whatever reason, that should be respected. It does not mean that they then automatically are entitled to settle in Israel or be counted in a certain Synagogue service. Especially evil was the replacement theology claiming that Christians were the new Jews. That was not to feel safer, but cultural misappropriation.
I remember Straight women in the Sixties, sick and tired of Straight men, declaring themselves Lesbians. Some of them made trouble for the ‘old Lesbians’ when they started taking over the Lesbian-Feminist movements. Humility may come slower and later than adopting a new identity.
I know of several Owning-Class guys who began taking Blue-Collar jobs to end their Class isolation and privilege. Mostly, they shall take their humble place in the Working Class and support Labor leaders, not replace them.
It is the full right of organizations of feminists or ‘old women’ to reject entrance to Transgender women. But they should not insult them or call them ‘fake men’ or even ‘really men,’ and discriminating them is bigotry.
There are two possibilities why statistically more young people call themselves not (just) Straight. First, with fewer taboos, more can come out of the closet. That Gen Z is less tight about gender and sexual identities of others is crystal clear. Second, young people might too easily adopt an identity, based on their feelings, which may change over time. Yet, some identities incorporate that fluidity: gender-fluid, abrosexual, etc.
Especially large sections of women have always preferred labels like: ‘no label,’ ‘I don’t know,’ bisexual, and pansexual. It should be investigated why 50% of Gen Z ‘not (just) Straights’ identify as Bisexual. Do they feel more at ease not pinning themselves down on some narrow identity?
I would not be surprised if diminished homophobia gave more young Straights the option to have non-Straight sex, at least in principle if not in practice, and then call themselves non-Straight. They surely deserve that ID as they experience much of the same oppression as the ‘old Gays.’
Sexual Preference
In any case, the conservative Straight world is duly alarmed by the new statistics. Fraudulent conversion therapy is on the rise. Whenever they ‘cure’ a gender-fluid Straight person, they will claim success. But it isn’t.
No one can change the neurobiologically engraved gender preference one needs to follow to end loneliness. But gender, body, and personality type preferences often come from childhood traumas and can change.
My teacher of Sexology (Amsterdam) told me that in his private practice, those who chose a partner different from their sexual preference, after that relationship ended, always went back to a partner of their preference.
Close reading of the verses in Leviticus reveals that the Torah rejects ‘replacement sexuality,’ especially Straight men seeking men for sex. The Talmud explains how disastrous that is, since that makes these men leave their wives and kids, as we still see today when (conversely) Gay men marry women. These Gay men can sustain the pretense only for so long. Humans need to answer their neurobiological preferences to end their existential loneliness. A Gay man in a relationship with a Straight man will end with the latter breaking his heart and starting to look for women.
Bisexuals have their own difficulties, often being disrespected among the Straights and Gays. While respecting someone’s self-labeling, it would be interesting to see if one gender just feels nice for bisexuals, while the other makes them become one, losing their existential loneliness. And how does that work or not with Transgender, Intersex, and Bigender partners?
Recap
- Respect how people label themselves.
- Don’t ignore the neurobiologically engraved identities.
- Ask which gender could (not) lead you to a permanent relationship.
You may find more controversial writings on Amazon or my own blog.
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. *
This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Of the 15 (!) books he has in mind, the next two are about homosexuality in Judaism and new rabbinics. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2600 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog that also may contain updates to Times of Israel posts, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. *
He's getting ready to publicize books on: "Free Will, "Judaism and Homosexuality, "His parents in the Holocaust, "Judaism, "A New Torah Translation and "A New Hebrew Grammar, "Co-Counseling, "Vegan Facts, "Immortality, and more. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He agrees that in a post-truth world, that's irrelevant, but then this is for the record. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. *
His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. His posts are spell, grammar, and style polished by AI, but all written by himself. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
