Awkward encounters

If you’re like me, you have a fair share of people you cut contact with for all sorts of reasons. Some reasons are more rational than others. Cutting contact seems counterproductive and illogical but it isn’t always the case. I mean, unfriend as well as block exist for a reason. Sometimes, it’s the practical and logical thing to do. Aside from work and perhaps family, we choose who we want to have in our social circle, just as others can kick us out when they wish. Relationships evolve and expand horizons or devolve and get destroyed. That’s life. It’s hardly a revelatory realization. People come and people go.

Maybe you were invited to a party or a wedding and then thought, ”These are good people but they are not my people,” and that was your last contact? All sorts of reasons why we cut contact. Not always negative. Indeed, sometimes, we remove ourselves from someone’s world because we don’t fit in. That contact isn’t real. Plus, when things get culty, I tend to stay away.

My interest in cults, propaganda and all sorts of thought reform goes back to high school when my Catholic school near Warsaw came in contact with a rather strange group. As a teen, I had no idea such traditionalist groups existed and it intrigued me. It’s just so far-removed from my experience. Anyway, enough about that. Back to the main topic.

Society is like a living organism. People circulate around the planet like blood flow. There’s no guarantee you won’t bump into someone you cut contact with. Awkward meetings are, in fact, likely. Now, it could be just a coincidence or Hashem, the universe if you prefer, putting that pesky someone in your path again. Why? Who knows. To cosmically troll you and watch you squirm? Catharsis? There are endless reasons that aren’t always readily apparent. Whoever you cut contact with, and for whatever reason, hopefully you’ve made a positive and lasting impact on their lives. I hope my presence in people’s lives, be it brief or prolonged, has enriched and inspired them in some way, though, in most cases, I’ll never really know. And that’s alright.

I like solitude – I’ve explored cities around the world (from Honolulu to Chengdu, China, but I still have Seoul, Taipei and Tokyo on my list) and love listening to the local folkore and urban legends. I can also talk for hours. Loving solitude and talking isn’t mutually exclusive. I’ve been blessed. Thank you, God. In spite of not being particularly religious, my relationship with Hashem has always been strong. Still, sometimes your solitary wandering can be interrupted by bumping into someone you cut contact with.

I’m not a fan of awkwardly random encounters. I’d rather ignore the blast from the past and get out of there. A lot depends on the nature of the encounter, of course. What was your last contact like? Where and when? Do you even remember? Stumbling upon someone in a mall is way better than stumbling upon someone in the elevator These things matter. It’s like a mini-military mission. It gets really awkward when someone comes up to you and is holding a grudge, for example, yet you can’t remember who they are. Their name, anything. Just play dumb, say you don’t know them, and walk away. I knew someone like that, actually. The second you were out of his contacts, it was like you’d never existed. Not just online but in the so-called real world, too. Total strangers just like that, in a snap. Creepy, but effective. I’m guessing quite a few people do the same thing. I can see the appeal.

The biggest problem is if there’s the danger of a physical confrontation. Maybe someone felt so wronged by you, that they’re ready to lash out at you with all their might. They’ve been waiting all these years and here you are. Ignore them if you can and if you can’t, get the hell out of there somehow. Be like Larry David and use all sorts of tactics – even stratagems and shenanigans. Chances are that person has no idea where you live so your mission is to get out of there and you’re golden. It’s always good to have disguises just in case. I’m only half-kidding. I knew someone who had bought a false beard for this reason. I’m not sure how effective that disguise was, though.

It gets decidedly awkward when you come across someone from your past who knows a different version of you. A different mask, so to speak. You don’t want your new friends to know about your past, only your carefully-constructed, propagandized, version. The whole new image is threatened by that one guy or girl who knows the other you. Did they even come across you by chance? You might have a stalker on your hands, my friend. Yep. Who knows. What’s important is you gotta do something about the whole thing, right? Dexter Morgan is the expert here. I can relate in some respects. Dear reader, you probably can, too.

Come up with the awkward encounters protocol. No joke.

You never know who life throws at you.