If your childhood memories are clouded with images of physical or emotional abuse, neglect, or trauma, do not focus on those memories.
Instead, allow them to remind you of what you need to give yourself NOW. For example, if you never heard a compliment or a word of praise, then praise yourself NOW especially for all the “little” things you do to keep yourself healthy and safe throughout the day.
You made hundreds of important decisions as a child – to brush your teeth, bathe, what to wear, what to buy, to eat healthy foods, and to stop eating when full, to make phone calls to those you love and distance yourself from toxic people, etc.
NOTICE, NOTICE, NOTICE. CHEER, CHEER, CHEER! There is a little child within you who has been waiting to be well-parented, with love and compassion.
Exodus 23:9 tells us that you shall not oppress the stranger, for you know the feelings of a stranger for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.
We were abused and brutalized in Egypt and we could have taken that experience as a license to brutalize others. We could have also said, Check with our therapist, he will verify our story. We can’t help it, we are what we are. But G-d demanded that we take that experience and turn it around and use it to reach out to others with compassion.
The first person you must reach out to with compassion is your inner child who has suffered.
Zev and Adella’s 50th
Zev and Adella Goldberg were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary at a big banquet put on by their kids. They encouraged Zev to share with everyone the benefits of being married for so long.
Zev stood up, thought for a long moment, then said, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher someone can ever have. It teaches you loyalty, patience, self-restraint, forgiveness, and….” he paused.
“And?” someone cried out from the back of the room.
“…and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single!
This is pretty neat.
DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read
Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1770 ….
If you haven’t, add 1769.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number
(I.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2020) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS