Belief of Victims selective, it shouldn’t be

Sexual Violence isn’t selective, so why should belief be?

Sexual violence is not an apolitical issue or an issue that can be isolated. It’s probably the oldest crime, a weapon of war. A crime rooted as a tool of control and power, it also exposes a dangerous divide. Belief in survivors has become a condition, filtered through opinion rather than principle. Not just a political divide but also a moral one, one where Jewish women, orthodox women and Israeli women are increasingly not believed. Women are excluded from the  “Believable victims” because of who they are and nothing else. 

Sexual violence is supposed to be universally recognized as the horrific crime that it is. The universal truth that was thought to transcend politics, borders, and different fundamental beliefs, yet is not the case.

Somewhere along the way belief of victims has become conditional. It’s me too, until it’s an orthodox college student, getting raped in a dorm room during Shabbat. She is told that “it doesn’t happen to people like you.” It is Me too until it is an Israeli woman, she is asked to prove the violence. Such as having to speak to the United Nations about the abuse she endured. It is me too until Jewish women are raped, then it’s resistance. Not only is the silence these victims face deathening, but the disbelief actively erases their lived experiences.

The doubt is not what kills the soul after the fact, it is the talking over, reinterpretation and the lack of privacy. Everything is taken, then the world asks how? How could you let him? How did this happen? How are you doing? Each question breaks them a little more. And the guilt and shame of not answering press into sharing, thus breaking the soul more.

This isn’t a new issue; throughout the history of the Diaspora, Jewish women have suffered. However, rape is not an identity-specific issue; it crosses every line, gender, race, religion and age. It has shaped families, communities, and political systems. Systems that can either lift up survivors or put them down. So why, as a community, do we put the shame on the survivor? Of course, all violence is directly connected to power. Violence of this type is never incidental; it is structural, it is intentional. They use it to inflict trauma and gain “control.” Sexual violence never happens in isolation. Nor does the disbelief of women, the differentiation of violence, is now structurally used to inflict more pain and control. This new type of power is being used to sway and silence victims, the power of the narrative. Whose suffering is seen as legible and who is not seen or worse put down by it.

The belief of survivors has become an ideologically filtered event. Where the granting of belief is only done when it aligns with a narrative, where victims must be perfect. Granting and withdrawing belief based on the precise moral weight of the victim. They withdraw belief when there are any complications. Even when the complication is simply not liking the person. Now, whether it is progressive rhetoric or a selective application, the effects are the same: double standards that leave many out in the rain. Only given shelter when they can prove their pain or when the conditional belief is met. Jewish women are often asked to prove their pain in ways others are not. Whether that is publishing their police reports and medical records, or having the videos of their assaults circulated. The institutional silence must be broken, and we must better support these victims. 

We know that sexual violence is the oldest weapon of war, yet Israeli women are not believed. We know that crimes of this nature are the most documented, and yet there is hesitation. We how of that violence and sexual crimes are prevalent in the great wars and so many other modern examples, we see the outcries in the West. We see tears for the comfort women of Korea, and yet when Jewish women report the same violence, the West hesitates. There is denial, requests for “more evidence”, claims that we must be exaggerating, and skepticism that is masquerading as moral relativism. 

The disbelief is used as a secondary harm. While the survivor is carrying the guilt, shame, pain and physical trauma, they often want to remain humanized. Not just a victim but a human, the doubt forces them to carry the weight of what happened and bear it as their own. They are affected twice by the violence that was inflicted by them, once by the perpetrator and then again every time they held in disbelief. Brene brown once said that shame derives its power from silence. We see this in the moment, how silence is informing the space. How is it? Me too, until you are a Jew. How lashon hara laws are thrown at the victims. Whenever they speak about the horrors, they not only relive them but become them. Sexual violence does not become less real, nor does the pain, because the narrative is not clear. Belief is either universal or it is completely meaningless. 

We must better support survivors.