Between hutzpah and humility

In life, we need to be chameleons of the mind. We need to know when to show hutzpah and when to show humility, and all the endless emotional and behavioal states in between, depending on the occasion and what we want to achieve. Cynical, yes, calculating, yes. So what? Forget all that authenticity talk. It’s just going to get you in trouble.

Then again, if you’re always arrogant, you’re going to end up in a position where you’re going to be humbled, as someone’s going to respond to your attacks and insults, eventually. Being humbled is one thing but going to another extreme and being always humble is also counterproductive. Some people get so humbled they go from arrogance and cockiness to another extreme of ever-present humility.

What could God do to truly punish someone? What would be the ultimate horror story? It’s much simpler than we think. I can see why giving birth can be seen as the ultimate punishment. I can see why God would choose to punish someone arrogant that way. It’s the stuff of horrors come true, yet a part of life.

Cultural awareness is also a vital skill to have. When working in Chengdu, China, I left a tip  for a waitress in a local restaurant. She brought back the change and told me I’d forgotten to take it. That wasn’t the case. We both knew what was going on. It was about face. You see, while you may casually dismiss such stories as irrelevant nonsense, you never know when something is of critical importance in a given context. It just might be that you offend someone by doing something trivial to you, but, turns out, of great importance to your potential business partner. And then, the deal’s off, leaving you bewildered what the hell just happened. Lack of awareness happened, that’s what.

Knowing when to show hutzpah and when to show humility is an extremely useful skill to have. Being always the same to everyone in every situation, barring some mental issues which are beyond the person’s control, isn’t a good strategy.

Careful with this whole authenticity talk. There are people who encourage you to be authentic so they can learn as much as they can about you – only to use it against you. They tell you how authentic they are when, in fact, they are as calculating as it gets.