Bibi-itis and Trumpetitis : new medical diagnoses and cures

A new (or old) virus has recently been discovered and diagnosed in Israel. Millions of people are suffering from it. It is called  Bibi-itis, named after the current Prime Minister.

The main symptoms are: nausea, revulsion, confusion, and despair.

Additional symptoms very often are: diarrhea, disorientation and disbelief (am I really living in the 11^th month of this war which is so destructive to Israeli society and to the Palestinians and to the region?).

Also, many people are having severe psycho-semitic reactions to the calamitous characteristics of our Great Leader:

• Hardening-of-the-heart (physically and metaphorically, particularly when it comes to the suffering of the hostages and their families).
• Closemindedness—an inability to hear or listen to the good advice of others (such as the security establishment of the state which is pressing for a deal now, or the President of the United States of America or other Western leaders, who appear to want a deal now more than the Prime Minister of Israel).
• Narcissism—a misguided feeling that everything centers around me, that I am the State, that no one can replace me, that only I know best what’s good for the country, and the hell with everyone else.
• Paranoia—a feeling that everyone is out to get me—the courts, the attorney general, the media, the leftists, the socialists (not to mention the Iranians, Hezbollah, the Houthis, etc.). An inability to comprehend what they have against me, what they don’t like about me, what I might have said or done wrong, when of course I have done no wrong (and I don’t accept responsibility for the wrongdoings of others, not even my wife or son).

Some of us are reacting so badly to this that we too are becoming paranoid!

Additional symptoms that so many of us are seriously suffering from are:

Migraine headaches, which are apparently caused by by all those noisy demonstrators (whom the Prime Minister views as traitors, leftists, or  anarchists –people who say that they care about the present and future of the state of Israel but are just trying to trick him) who continually complain about this and that every Saturday night with all kinds of nasty signs about him. It is also possible that some of these migraines come from stress, particularly the anxiety that we feel when the pressure from some ministers in his government is particularly outrageous. Some of them are constantly criticizing him for even thinking about “surrendering”, or reaching an agreement to rescue hostages and end the war, something that everyone knows by now he has no intention of doing in any case.

Ennui—a feeling of weariness and existential dissatisfaction, based on our  understanding that the current “leaders” of Israel are leading us nowhere, except towards the abyss of more and more fruitless wars, exhaustion from the same bad news every day, which is highlighted by the inability of the government to say “yes” to a deal to redeem the hostages, and end the war in the south and the north; a feeling of repetitive gloom and doom, with no good end in sight.

If you are experiencing any or all of these symptoms, see your doctor right away. For that matter, this particular illness may require a team of doctors, including a psychiatrist and a psychologist, or even a psychoanalyst, since early extensive research indicates that recovering from this multifaceted disease may take many years.

Some studies have indicated that there are no cures yet for this comprehensive disease other than a radical bibectomy, i.e., a major surgical procedure which removes this B tumor completely from the body politic. A team of neurosurgeons, cardiologists and colo-rectal surgeons is working on this procedure at one of the top hospitals in Israel! So be patient. A solution is pending.

In the meantime, doctors are recommending that you lower your intake of news. This will lower your daily nausea, feelings of disgust, shame and revulsion, but it won’t cure you. Psychologists are recommending that you engage in as much denial and escapism as possible, even it means watching terrible tv shows and movies on Netflix or other streaming services.

Or make an appointment with a psychotherapist. Apparently, there are many in this country (and abroad) who are specializing in the long-term treatment of this illness (there is no short-term treatment). Good luck.

P.S. Many of these symptoms (probably most of them) are also well-known, with minor variations, and have been diagnosed by doctors in the USA, in a disease known as “Trumpetitis C”. (It is distantly related to Corona B but don’t take any detergents to help you with this!)  It has already infected some 70 million people in the USA, but thanks to some hopeful political/medical developments, it is finally now possible, according to some scientists and pundits, to rid people of this disease, and maybe even to rid the country of this malady.

Millions of American citizens from all walks of life, including the medical community, are feverishly working on this right now and will continue to do so during the next 3 months . There are some definite signs of hope—millions of people are actually feeling less anxiety and despair in America right now (which is not yet the case in Israel). For the sake of all those suffering from this illness, and all who could still be infected by this virus, let’s hope they succeed, for the benefit of humanity and the earth.