Book review – Heart of Wisdom: The Teachings of Rabbi Moshe Chalkowski

Some of the world’s most dangerous physical jobs include commercial fishing, logging, and mining. In the spiritual world, the role of mashpia or mashgiah carries its own unique set of dangers. The role of these individuals is to provide guidance and advice. And the danger is that incorrect advice on their part will have devastating consequences that last for generations.

This need for caution was emphasized over 2,000 years ago by the great sage Avtalyon in Avot 1:11, who warned, “Sages, be careful with your words, lest you incur the penalty of exile and be carried off to a place of evil waters, and the disciples who follow you drink and die, and thus the Name of Heaven becomes profaned”.

Drawing from this wisdom, giving advice as a sage can be likened to giving directions and setting a person on a life trajectory. If the trajectory is correct, the person reaches their desired location. If the trajectory is incorrect, the final position will be incorrect, often with implications that can affect people’s lives.

This responsibility was clearly evident in the life of Rabbi Moshe Chalkowski, who passed away in March and served as the mashgiach at the Neve Yerushalayim seminary for women for over 50 years. Neve is a well-known institution, and in his role, he had a direct impact on students’ trajectories for generations.

He was a man who took Avtalyon’s advice quite seriously. In the just released Heart of Wisdom: The Teachings of Rabbi Moshe Chalkowski on Jewish Life and Personal Growth (Mosaica Press), his students have gathered decades of questions posed to him during Q&A sessions (which comprise a minute amount of the overall number of questions asked), about all aspects of Jewish life.

A noteworthy aspect of his approach, featured throughout the book, is that many times his answer to questions was “I don’t know” or “I have no idea.” This was not ignorance, but living out the Talmud’s directive in Berakhot 4a: “Accustom your tongue to say: I do not know, lest you become entangled in a web of deceit.”

This humility and authenticity set him apart. In reality, he knew the answer far more often than he admitted.

One recurring question, particularly among not only baalei teshuva but many others, is the notion of what a bashert is and how to find one’s bashert. Bashert is a Yiddish word that means “destined” or “preordained.” In Jewish culture, bashert is most commonly used to refer to one’s destined spouse.

In response to unmarried women asking about their bashert, Rabbi Chalkowski’s answers generally reflected his practical outlook: “bashert is Hashem’s affair. Every person needs to marry whom they wish to marry”.

Across these questions, it becomes eminently clear that Rabbi Chalkowski was not a proponent of seeking quick or mystical answers—such as going to kabbalists—for life’s complex dilemmas.

For example, when asked if one can trust a kabbalist in deciding who to marry according to the names of the man and woman, he replied: “It is a very doubtful way to clear up doubts. If you have questions, work through them; do not turn to mystical sources.”

Because the questions are undated, it is hard to place them in context. Some answers, such as the one below, might need updating for current realities.

One such question was from a kollel wife about her husband. She describes him as a wonderful husband and father with beautiful character traits, who loves learning and considers it very important. Yet, for the afternoon and evening kollel learning sessions, he is much laxer with his learning times. Using excuses that it’s too cold or he is too tired. Rabbi Chalkowski answered, “If it is not getting out of hand, leave him alone”.

With IDF soldiers serving extended periods on duty in dangerous situations and away from their families, the notion that a kollel member might be lax about study warrants serious reconsideration.

This is an enjoyable and meaningful book on numerous levels. While not a biography, one can gain a deep understanding of Rabbi Chalkowski through his astute answers. He is a man who understood the human condition and responds with thoughtfulness, humor, and genuine depth.

Although he was certainly a talmud chacham, perhaps the most appropriate approbation for him would be that he was a pikeach. The term literally means open-eyed, but it also describes a person who is wise, discerning, and perceptive.

One illustrative episode involved a woman in her second trimester, who was struggling because her family was urging her not to say a word about her pregnancy until she was showing – their responses were causing her significant stress.

Rabbi Chalkowski’s perceptive reply was that she should tell her family to stop freaking her out, as that is even worse than the evil eye.

In contrast to many rabbis who focus on producing intellectual prodigies, Rabbi Chalkowski’s lasting contribution is raising countless students to become balanced, fulfilled individuals living purposeful lives. He was a mentor who emphasized practicality, emotional health, and living a focused Jewish life.

There are a lot of teachers who are inspirational, but not practical. Rabbi Chalkowski was a man who focused on practicality. He showed generations how to turn inspiration into action.

Although he and his wife were never blessed with children of their own, Sanhedrin 19b states, “Whoever teaches another’s child Torah, it is as if he gave birth to them.” In this sense, Heart of Wisdom, edited and arranged by his children, is an inspiring testament to a great man.