Bringing Forth Our Best Selves- Hukkat 5784

Our parshah this week, parshat Hukkat, is not, shall we say, the “sunniest” of parshayot. This week we learn of the strange ritual of the red heifer, to be performed when a person contracts impurity through contact with the dead. We also read of the deaths of both Miriam and Aaron, as well as a moment that, perhaps more than most, determines the immediate fate of B’nei Yisrael after their desert journey.

Moshe Rabbeinu- “Moses, our teacher”- in a fit of pique, as we learn in Hebrew school, forcefully hits a rock from which he is told will spill out water in order to slake the thirst of the complaining Israelites. However, because he didn’t follow the prescribed divine protocol of speaking to the rock rather than hitting it, the consequence is that he himself will not enter into the land that G-d has promised them. 

It’s a sad, catching moment. Is the divinely-chosen leader of the Israelites, who led them out of bondage in Egypt and then saw G-d face to face at Mount Sinai really to be denied a share of the people’s ultimate destiny? It does seem harsh. However, under scrutiny, it seems that Moshe’s actions can certainly be called into question. 

A well-known hasidic master, Elimelekh of Lizhensk (also known as the No’am Elimelekh) teaches that Moshe was punished because a tzaddik, a righteous person, always seeks out good for the people of Israel. A tzaddik can bring blessing to the world just by means of holy speech without recourse to any physical action. However, there are times when they must engage in action. While words work for people who believe that a tzaddik acts exclusively through speech, they must sometimes resort to action in order to do something that everyone can relate to.

Personally, this sounds somewhat flimsy to me. If we agree with the Noam Elimelekh’s teaching, then Moshe must have known that his actions would bring about the consequence of his not being able to enter the land. In his view, Moshe’s hitting the rock is seen as a model of a sort of civil disobedience with an aim in mind, and not simply a lapse in judgment which I’m inclined to believe that it is. 

My teacher Rabbi Shai Held, in his volume “The Heart of Torah”, further identifies 3 different problems with Moshe’s act of striking the rock. If we look at the text (chapter 20 verses 10 and 11) we can identify them:

 וַיַּקְהִ֜לוּ מֹשֶׁ֧ה וְאַהֲרֹ֛ן אֶת־הַקָּהָ֖ל אֶל־פְּנֵ֣י הַסָּ֑לַע וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָהֶ֗ם שִׁמְעוּ־נָא֙ הַמֹּרִ֔ים הֲמִן־הַסֶּ֣לַע הַזֶּ֔ה נוֹצִ֥יא לָכֶ֖ם מָֽיִם׃

Moses and Aaron assembled the congregation in front of the rock; and he said to them, “Listen, you rebels, shall we get water for you out of this rock?”

וַיָּ֨רֶם מֹשֶׁ֜ה אֶת־יָד֗וֹ וַיַּ֧ךְ אֶת־הַסֶּ֛לַע בְּמַטֵּ֖הוּ פַּעֲמָ֑יִם וַיֵּצְאוּ֙ מַ֣יִם רַבִּ֔ים וַתֵּ֥שְׁתְּ הָעֵדָ֖ה וּבְעִירָֽם׃

“And Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod. Out came copious water, and the community and their beasts drank.”

The first problem, Rabbi Held argues, could simply be Moses’ tone of voice and how he addresses them. “Listen, you rebels” isn’t exactly the most diplomatic way to address the Israelites.

Secondly, there are those that contend the question he asks the people – “shall we get water for you out of this rock?” – is the source of the offense.

Lastly, there is the well-known idea that Moses’ striking of the rock, instead of speaking to it, is his crime. After all, it was G-d’s instruction to simply speak to the rock in verse 8, not to strike it with his staff.

This is not the first time where Moshe has chastised the Israelites. In fact, both G-d and Moses have each had their moments of frustration with the people that have led to chastisement. Previously it was G-d, not Moses, who threatened to wipe out the Israelites due to their lack of faith, but Moses asks for pardon on their behalf and G-d’s anger is assuaged. But in this case, it is Moses’ own lack of faith that angers G-d. Did he perhaps not think that simply speaking to the rock would be enough?

I want to return to Rabbi Held’s first point, that of Moses’ tone and apparent anger. In rabbinical school, one of my favorite classes was Homiletics, taught by my dear teacher Rabbi Sharon Cohen Anisfeld. That class concentrated on the process of writing and delivering a sermon and public remarks, and one of the topics that we covered was the speaker’s voice. One shouldn’t sound bombastic at a shiva, or meek when the occasion calls for power. How you address another person matters, and can take time to hone. Perhaps after such an extended period of time in the desert, Moshe is feeling a little “punchy” and worn out. We might excuse his gruffness to some degree. However, each interaction we have with someone can leave a lasting effect. 

Being a big baseball fan, this reminds me of something Joe DiMaggio is purported to have said (and I’m sorry for quoting a Yankee in a Red Sox space!). When asked why he played so hard every day, he is purported to have said: “There may be someone out there who has never seen me play before.” 

In this example and that of Moshe’s hitting the rock, we learn that we should strive to always bring our best selves to our personal interactions. Obviously, that may not always be possible, and it may take time to be able to do so. Nevertheless, we should always assume best intentions in our personal relationships.

Having two young children, there is never a dull moment in our house (some of you may be familiar with this dynamic). There are certainly times when either myself, or Sam, or one of our kids says or does something out of frustration. Speaking for myself, I’ve noticed a marked change in behavior when my speaking tone conveys love and care as opposed to anger. It’s true what they say- you really do catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Anger, we must acknowledge, plays a prominent role in the Torah for several personalities, including G-d’s. It’s of paramount importance, however, to also note that being slow to anger is one of the 13 divine attributes. Just as Moshe recites on Mount Sinai after the people sinned by building the Golden Calf, so too we recite as part of high holiday liturgy: “Adonai, adonai, el rahum v’hanun, el erech apayim v’rav chesed v’emet”- “The LORD! the LORD! a God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness.”

On this Shabbat, I pray that we may always do our best to bring our best selves to others. We are each created b’tzelem Elokim, in the image of the Divine. When we honor others through graceful speech and actions, we also bring divine grace and love into the world, and there is no greater gift than that.