Burnout Is Sneaky (But There Are Clues)
It’s 2 a.m., I’m sitting up in bed.
I haven’t been able to sleep lying down in a month because of a hacking cough.
I cannot face the thought that I have to show up in life tomorrow.
I’m losing my mind.
It’s October.
It began in the summer.
I was exhausted. The kind of deep, bone-tired exhaustion that doesn’t go away with a good night’s sleep. I felt it in my body and in my mind. Questions started to feel like demands. I could barely find the words to say no.
I knew I needed a break.
So, I slowed things down, a bit.
But trying to do less didn’t scratch the surface.
I kept pushing through projects, ticking off to-dos, getting things done.
There was a tiny voice inside telling me that it was too much. I ignored it. Getting out of bed felt overwhelming. I ignored it. Responding to messages drained my energy. I ignored it.
I didn’t have a good enough reason to stop. Stopping felt indulgent.
And then, I crashed.
My body had had enough. It shut me down.
I got sick. A relentless cough that made me vomit. It felt like there was glass in my throat so swallowing was excruciating. I lost my voice. I couldn’t sleep lying down. I could barely function.
I canceled everything on my calendar. I had no other option. I sat on my couch, cat napped all day and all night. I figured it would take me a day or two and I would be back. (Spoiler alert: it took months.)
Recovery was so much slower than I could have ever imagined. I was in pain and desperate for relief. I kept speaking to doctors. They said it needed time. I wanted a magic pill.
Slowly I crawled back to life.
I had to prioritise—so I showed up for my beloved clients. Beyond that, I did the absolute bare minimum. Housework, cooking, errands, it was all on pause. I don’t remember what we ate.
But. Something beautiful happened during that slow, painful recovery: I recalibrated.
When my world came to a screeching halt, I gained clarity. I asked myself: If I were building my life from scratch, what would it look like? What would I keep, and what would I let go of?
And the key question became: When I look back in two years, will I be happy with the choices I’m making right now?
That question changed everything.
I had been living in a constant state of stress without even recognizing it. Sure, I was balancing family, work, exercise, and social commitments, but it was all driven by this self-made invisible pressure. And I didn’t want that anymore.
So now, recovering, I made small, deliberate changes.
I started by taking the same actions I’d always taken, but with a completely different mindset. Instead of rushing through them, I slowed down. Instead of pushing myself, I gave myself space. And that space opened up pockets of joy.
I added a walk to my day.
I joined a craft class.
I gave myself permission to nap in the afternoon.
Slowly, piece by piece, I rebuilt my life. A better life.
I only added things when I truly wanted to and had space for them. I didn’t feel guilty about saying no to the rest. Some obligations had to wait. Some ambitions were put on hold. Some connections had to be paused. And that was okay.
At times, I really wanted to do things, but they took more energy than I had, so I learned to let them go. And that was okay too.
It took months for me to feel creative again.
Months before the desire to write came back.
One day, I thought, Maybe I should write something.
But it felt heavy, so I let it go.
A few weeks later, I thought, I’d like to write something today. And that time, it came from a place of genuine desire. That’s when I finally put pen to paper.
I’m a life coach, working especially with women going through burnout. And it got me too. Here’s what I learned.
- Burnout doesn’t happen all at once. It creeps up, slowly, like a shadow you don’t notice until you’re completely in it. Exhaustion can become your new normal if you let it.
- There’s a tiny voice of intuition and knowing inside each of us. Don’t ignore it. When you hear that voice: stop and check it out and listen to its wisdom.
- You can hit pause before the crash. You can throttle back before your body forces you to. The key is making your well-being a priority. That’s going to look different for each person.
- You can get loads done, the HOW is up to you. Note the level of intensity you’re running at. So much of what we do is habit. I can find myself rushing when there’s actually no need for it. So become aware and then take steps to reduce the pressure and stress.
- I keep checking in with myself and seeing how “intense” I’m feeling. Then I breathe slower, drop my shoulders, roll my head. And only then I continue.
- A healthy life has pacing which means busy and less busy times. It’s not possible to be constantly busy, we all need slower times.
- A happy life offsets exhaustion and contains intentional moments of joy.
And I know this: the life you want is built slowly, piece by piece, with care and intention.
Now you. Ask yourself: What do you need in your life right now? What would bring you joy, space, or rest? You don’t have to wait for a crash to pause and recalibrate. Start today. Choose one small thing that feels good, and make it yours.
You deserve it. We all do.