Challah, Herring and Zionism
Mordechai held a large piece of toasted challah smothered with slices of Vita’s herring in wine sauce.
“Moshe,” he said, “this morning I was scrolling through TikTok when I came across a middle-aged white pastor wearing an expensive suit. The first words out of his mouth were: ‘Donald Trump is a lifelong Zionist.'”
He took a bite of herring-covered challah.
“Moshe, did you ever consider Trump a lifelong Zionist?”
“Nope,” Moshe replied. “He’s pro-Israel, and he’s an opportunist, but a Zionist? I wouldn’t go that far. He’s done some great stuff for Israel, but that alone doesn’t make him a Zionist.
“He’d go to the Wall wearing a red, white, and blue yarmulke, write a note on a piece of paper, and stick it into the Wall. But that doesn’t make him a Jew. Then he’d pretend to pray. I knew it was all political theater. He moved his lips, but I don’t think he knows how to pray. I think he was faking it.”
“I remember the day he prayed at the Wall. But please let me finish my story. Then we’ll go back to the Kotel and Trump’s note in the Wall.”
“Sure. I’ll keep my trap shut.”
“So I sat there stunned, completely hooked on the video. I’d never considered Trump a Zionist—let alone a lifelong Zionist. I stopped scrolling and listened to this pastor’s spiel—or should I say rant?
“He went on to say that Trump is a lifelong Zionist, a lifelong gangster, a malignant narcissist, a lifelong philanderer, a lifelong cheat, a lifelong felon, a lifelong sexual predator, a lifelong blackmailer, a lifelong hedonist, a lifelong bully, and an international war criminal.”
“What a list!” Moshe said. “But cleverly played. You embedded a positive noun—Zionist—in the middle of a long list of negatives. That’s guilt by association. Kind of like when the United Nations equated Zionism with racism.”
“That son of a bitch pastor knew exactly what he was doing. He was putting Zionism in the same basket as crimes, abhorrent behavior, evil, vileness, and wickedness. I hope people aren’t stupid enough to fall for that old trick.”
“Well, there are enough stupid folks who already believe the lie. They don’t have to be convinced.”
Mordechai wiped a bit of herring sauce from his chin.
“But let’s go back to what you think Trump wrote on that scrap of paper.”
Moshe smiled.
“I think he wrote: ‘I hope they’re serving challah with herring at lunch today.'”
Mordechai laughed and took another enormous bite of his breakfast sandwich.
