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Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews -- For those who like their news and truths frank and sharp

Coffee is bad for your brain health, so to hell with all the propaganda for it

Wake up and smell the coffee

Every day, the news brings so much nonsense. It’s hard to pick which lies and distortions to comment on. I prioritize news about stuff I have inside knowledge about or stuff that I’m afraid most people would believe.

Here we have an article claiming that solid medical research has proven that drinking freshly milled coffee daily will prolong your life. So sad.

The article is written in cooperation with a hospital run by an Israeli health fund but mysteriously contains pure medical nonsense (see below).

This is not my first nonsense marketing campaign for legal drugs ‘being healthy.’ Chronologically, I’ve lived through a physician claiming that smoking tobacco is good for your health without starting. I’ve read serious medical claims that red wine prolongs your life without beginning to drink alcohol. Then I read from serious medical scientists that dark chocolate will make us live longer and I still don’t believe it. And, I found a medical article ‘proving’ that 3-7 times a day climaxing for men is healthy for the prostate —7 a day, no printing error. Then I ran into ‘proofs’ that eating less meat will not save the planet, but I’m still a vegan. Pull the other leg—it has bells on it. Lots of money is made through these industries. Why believe that any of them would throw away greed and start working for a better world for all? And now freshly ground coffee would be actually healthy?

Before we dive into the nonsense we are told, let’s just review the main reasons why not to drink coffee ever (again).

A. Caffeine cuts out our deepest sleep. That’s why we wake up groggy. The ‘solution’? A fresh cup of coffee, no different from an alcoholic ‘needing’ alcohol first thing in the morning. This morning coffee sets us up for a next bad night of sleep and the next coffee jolt. Good for business!

Something like band-aids. That keeps the wound open so that you need fresh ones for a week. If you dry your wound to the air it’s closed in hours. If you’re afraid you hurt yourself there, stick a large piece of sellotape on it. Put a small piece of tape in the middle of the large piece, glue to glue.

B. Coffee camouflages that you’re tired. That is good for your slavemaster who wants performance more than your health. Everyone understands that sleeping and resting when you need it is the best for your health.

C. If you’re pregnant and you want a calm child, don’t drink coffee.

D. What is coffee? You take green beans from a small tree that have caffeine in them. You dry them and then burn them until brown or black. Then you mill the burned beans and pour water over them. Researchers then look at what parts of the beans are still detectable in the black drink but ignore the tar. Just imagine research into cigarette smoking that would ignore the pitch. How ever can this be tasty or health-supporting?!

Let’s start with the first quote. I apologize for the nonsense.

1. “In recent years, the world of science has been discovering the proven benefits of [coffee].” If they are proven, how can you discover them? Frankly, there you should already understand that this is a coffee ad.

2. “[Coffee] that most of us need to start our day.” As mentioned, that’s a withdrawal effect. Non-addicts don’t have this. No one needs coffee.

3. “[P]eople said it wasn’t healthy. Now, researchers have changed their minds.” Medical scientists don’t change their minds after one, unrepeated study. Especially not collectively.

4. Now comes the biggest lie. They need to hide the inferiority of this study. This is how they hyped it: “This new study is particularly interesting and important because it was conducted over an entire decade and included close to half a million participants, so the data is comprehensive.”

Without medical training, how could you know this is total rubbish? There is no such thing as a study being best when it’s “comprehensive,” whatever that may mean. If your statistic sample is biased, numbers mean nothing. If your control group is off, not even facts about a billion people can save your study. And, if it’s not double-blind, you can’t even begin to talk about proof. At best, you could find suggestive data to start a real study.

5. The next sentence has a hyperlink that links to … (I couldn’t have guessed the chutzpah, really) an article in the Jerusalem Post of October 3rd, 2021. The new proof is neither. If you lie, don’t include the proof!

6. The JPost calls this: “these gratifying findings” as if it’s great that we need to disrupt our daily sleep in order to live longer.

7. “12% less likely to die than those who didn’t indulge our favorite habit.” Some 82% turn out immortal? And what is “our” doing in this sentence?

8. Now they are going to throw around percentages. These come from comparing Brits in a health database. Not a word on their website if the people in their database are representative of the total population. How do they get people to participate? Until we know, we know nothing.

9. They found that people who drink 0.5-3 cups a day had a 12% less chance of dying in those 10 years but only if they drank from freshly ground beans. Their explanation (just made up—to hell with science) is that some of the beneficial stuff is less found in instant coffee. But, they also found that more than 3 (The JPost calls this: “At least 3 or more”) cups did not protect. That is strange. If 3 cups ground protect, why don’t 8 cups instant not do the same? However, they are not researching; it’s just a guessing game of how to ‘defend’ their questionable findings.

10. “Since caffeine is also an appetite suppressant, researchers speculate that it may help prevent obesity and its related medical problems.” They know how these people prepare their coffee but not if they are obese?

11. Instant coffee didn’t have “these benefits.” Do the British scientist really not know that instant coffee is much cheaper and quicker to make and that blue-color workers, on average, have less patience, earn less, and die much younger? I find this hard to believe they wouldn’t know this.

12. This study quotes another “30,000 study participants and found signs that participants who drank coffee had healthier hearts. The scans showed that participants who drank a moderate-high amount of coffee had larger heart chambers so their hearts could pump more blood.” The JPost made that up. The article literally says: “Both light-to-moderate and high coffee consuming categories were associated with dose-dependent increased left and right ventricular end-diastolic, end-systolic and stroke volumes, as well as greater left ventricular mass.” These are signs of high blood pressure and not of greater heart health at all. In lay terms: The more coffee you drink, whether moderately or a lot, the higher your blood pressure.

Here you have it. Facts killed by crazy scientists distorted by lay journalists.

Don’t drink coffee. Also not sometimes. Once you’re hooked, it’s harder to quit. Just like with cigarettes, complain more, take really care of yourself. No one on their death bed said “I wish I had been more at work.”

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. He doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. * This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 1500 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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