Cutting contact versus staying in touch

I’ve noticed there are, generally speaking of course, two types of people: type one never severs a relationship with others, merely suspends it, or forgets about it and moves on. I used to know a Polish Jew like that. He would never get so mad at someone as to cut contact completely and he dealt with all sorts of people, some mentally unstable.

He said it’s counterproductive and only hurts him in the long run – one, because he gets invested emotionally and lets some guy live in his head rent-free, and two, why shut yourself off from potential opportunities down the line? I like that thinking but, as in many cases  in life, it isn’t always that simple. To me, life is a mosaic, a wheel, a rollercoaster – not a ladder.

Type two is the so-called ”honorable type,” that permanently cuts contact with others for feeling wronged in some way. I’m a pragmatist and I place myself somewhere in the middle between type one and two. I don’t cut contact with people, even if they are from a different thought universe and get on my nerves, I enjoy exchanges of views up to a point. When it gets personal instead of subject-matter-debate, I’m not interested. It’s a waste of time.

I just don’t keep in touch with people who are so far removed from my universe, it’s almost like talking to extraterrestrials, but they are out there, in my orbit somewhere.

Now, sometimes, you come across people who need to be cut out of your life and you must distance yourself from them, because they’re trouble, like a black hole that’s going to suck you in. Energy vampires. Sometimes, you must be decisive and merciless. Sometimes, no clever formula how to deal with people, served on a silver platter by well-paid life coaches, works, only life experience. Did you ever get mad at someone? Did you do something stupid? Good. Your life experience is now much richer. To resolve conflict, you need to know how conflict feels. You need to experience conflict first-hand.

Otherwise, you’re just an armchair expert and you will come across conflict, eventually. As Israelis, you know it much better than me.

I’m sometimes put in the role of a mediator or a middle-man by people who, for whatever reason, no longer want to communicate with each other. I’m good at it, apparently, or so people tell me. I have this gift, again, or so some people tell me, to assume different points of view with ease, even if that point of view is absolutely absurd to me. I may not fully know the mental machinations of someone or the language they speak but I do get the gist of their thought process. Well, it’s a pretty bold statement, and it doesn’t always work, of course, but it has worked more than enough times for me. I wouldn’t venture to assume the point of view of some far-away tribe that doesn’t have any contact with civilization.

I’ve had to deal with all sorts of people in my life – dramatically different personalities at times – it’s not a matter of choice, it’s just how God wanted it, I suppose. When I see children being brought up in bubbles, be it religious or otherwise, it’s a huge mistake but I’m not here to to tell someone thousands of miles away how to live. As we say in Polish, nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy (not my circus, not my monkeys). We have religious nutcases in Poland but they are a picture of meekness and mercy in comparison with some radicals out there in the world.

Right now, I’m in touch with my friend who works in the media. We’re trying to get my acquaintance – who does important work but I won’t disclose more details – on television. Is this going to work? All up to the powers that be on TV who are either going to accept or reject my friend’s pitch. Point being, we’ve tried. That’s what matters. You don’t always win your battles but you still learn something and may win the war. Cutting contact just because something didn’t work out isn’t a good strategy, especially if it didn’t work out because your friend or acquaintance had limited influence on the decision-makers and gatekeepers. Well, turns out, I’ve just learned, the pitch is a success. That’s what I’m talking about. Keep your options open.

Now, death is the ultimate form of cutting contact, don’t you think? God cuts the cord of life. There are people consumed by grief who are desperate to connect with their loved ones and friends on the other side. Assuming there’s some kind of other side, as I can picture my militant atheist friends shaking their heads and laughing derisively. I’m not so arrogant as to claim to know if there’s some other side or not. It’s a really, really huge sign of confidence, hutzpah and hubris really, to be so sure about there being no God. What if God is mercurial and takes offense? That’s anthropomorphizing, I know. Just a fancy way of saying you attribute human characteristics to God. Anthropophagy is another seemingly fancy word you can use for something we all know. Something less than pleasant.

Anyway. I’ve noticed there are many channels on social media with parents claiming to channel their dead children. Now, who knows what’s going on in the minds of these people. Maybe they really believe it, maybe they’re psychotic, but if they don’t hurt anyone, just leave them be and let them believe they are channeling their dead children if it brings them comfort. Who knows, in some rare cases, they might be the real deal. Electronic voice phenomenon, communicating with the other side via electronic devices, is intriguing. Anyone can test it out, that’s the best part. No need to pay for psychics or mediums. All you need is a digital recorder, a quiet place, ask a question, leave the rcorder runnning, walk out of the room, and that’s it. See what happens, if anything.

I tested it out, expecting nothing, yet the results were intriguing.

Now, this brings me to hell. To me, hell is the ultimate state of having been shut off from others. For example, from my lips to God’s ears, that’s the fate of a pompously intellectual Russian propagandist who usurped the name of Plato. She is stuck in the hell of ridiculousness, and forced to play Ukrainian songs on her violin in a swan lake attire – no need to reach out to her, she’s no longer relevant. She’s the butt of hell’s jokes for having lost her authority so epically.