Day 562 Of The War: The Pure Rage At Begin

As we do almost every Saturday night, I talked with my friend—and demonstration partner—to decide whether we’d go to the rally in Hostage Square or to the protest on Begin Highway, outside the Begin Gate to the Ministry of Defense (HaKirya). Although we both agreed that the rally always touches the heart and we would really like to be there, my friend said, “I feel that I need the pure rage at Begin.” I agreed. Although the two demonstrations are similar in many aspects, the informality of Begin allows for more raw manifestations of fury.
Last night, there was finally a considerable number of people who sat on the side with photos of the dead children in Gaza—who are also victims of this endless war. Another friend, whom I met there and who was handing out photos to people who wished to sit in that area, asked me if I wanted to join them. I felt torn when I told her that although my heart was with the group, my first responsibility in coming to this protest was to demand the return of the hostages and an end to the war.
Of course, I was glad that at a major protest against a war that has caused so many unnecessary casualties, there were so many people reminding everyone of the cruelty inflicted on children and civilians. But personally, I would prefer to devote a big but separate demonstration to protesting the unnecessary killing of civilians in Gaza.
Perhaps it is possible to hold all this complexity together. But having volunteered at the Hostage Families’ headquarters for so long—where we see the families slowly losing hope, dying in front of us—I feel that this should be my first mission, for now.
Understanding that Netanyahu is not going to do everything in his power to bring them back is a well-known fact. But realizing that we, the citizens, cannot do anything to change that travesty of justice is immensely frustrating. I hate feeling so powerless. I’m sure there are many people in Israel who walk around feeling like prisoners themselves. We can barely breathe, knowing that there is nothing we can do apart from protesting.

I asked the great artist and activist Zeev Engelmayer (Shoshke), who has been documenting and narrating our human condition since October 7, if I could use the postcard from last night at Begin. It’s a depiction of the woman who reads aloud the names of the hostages—both those still alive and those who have died. Kindly, he agreed. Somehow, it helps me keep both the hostages and the dead children in Gaza in my mind and heart.