Hello everyone. How are you all holding up? In case you’re wondering, my life is also upside down right now. I am having a difficult time because my brothers and sister keep popping up at home unexpectedly. They open the front door and call my name. Naturally, I come running. We play a bit, I cuddle them, we have a snack and then, poof, they are gone again. I am spending a lot of my time dropping off and picking up from the bus and train stations near my house. These are the highs and lows of my daily life right now.
On a wider scale, I’ve been noticing that the soldier body count is rising much too quickly; hostages are no longer being returned; and antisemitism around the world is bigger and louder than it has ever been. Hamas may not be winning the war but they are definitely the most popular murderers on social media.
While this is all terrible, the thing that bothers me the most is why some of the clear-headed people out there – the ones who see what immoral unscruplizers Hamas are – are calling them “animals.” And I am pretty sure that they don’t mean it kindly.
First of all, as a proud member of the World Wide Animal Corps, I can confidently assure you that Hamas are most definitely not animals. Domestic animals, like me, love their people, and much prefer a warm afternoon nap in the sun, followed by a little walking, pooping, and sniffing. We have also lost some of our human brothers and some sisters in the past three months. One of my acquaintances from the prestigious Oketz unit sat through a day of shiva for his lost partner. When our people hurt, we hurt too.
Wild animals are also offended by the comparison. True, the carnivores kill, but with the sole intent of feeding themselves and their families. It’s very straightforward. No unnecessary violence. No hatred. No revenge. No urge for world domination or infidel submission. It is simply eat or be eaten; it’s the first law of survival in nature.
Wild animals living in the same proximity all drink from one water hole and share the surrounding land. The only time the peace is disrupted is when one of the carnivores is super hungry. We are animals; not psychotic killers. Please do not sully our good name. Speaking personally, I have been an excellent companion for the past 16 years. Even after I inadvertently ran away and the police had to drive me home in their cruiser. With the lights flashing no less. Not even when I got stuck in my neighbors hedge and it was raining so hard that no one heard me calling (well maybe crying) for help until morning when the rain stopped. And definitely not when I had a bad case of diarrhea. In the house. No further details required there.
Animals are creatures of instinct. We normally don’t bite the hand that feeds us. In fact we are most loyal to those who do feed and shelter us. We respect life. We love and protect our children and our humans. We love nothing more than to roll around in the grass and play. We only attack when we are scared or have been treated poorly.
Hamas are not animals. They do not care about their own people. They do not worry about them starving to death. They do not care about them being cold and wet. They do not protect their women and children. They do not value life. They value martyrdom. I don’t really know what they are. Barbarians. Savages. Philistines. Monsters. But definitely not animals.
I am thinking about starting an internet petition — @realanimals — begging humans to immediately cease and desist from calling Hamas animals. “Animals” is an honorable classification and we refuse to share it with the worst examples of breathing entities known on this planet.