Dead Bodies Matter

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Reflecting on How We Honor the Dead

The state of Israel, homeland of the Jews, puts so much importance on the rituals of death and burial that they insisted that all the hostages, including the remains of the murdered, be part of the 20-point ceasefire agreement between Hamas and Israel, brokered by President Trump.

Finally, yesterday, our last hostage, Ran Gvili, was returned to his homeland so that his loved ones can find the comfort of an authentic, meaningful funeral and all that entails in the Jewish faith. I’m guessing that the possibility that the final ceremony to honor his life would involve cremation would never enter anyone’s mind. Israelis believe that Gvili deserved a proper ending to his life and that final ceremony would under no circumstances involve cremation.

I believe the way a culture treats its dead is very revealing about their deeply held views, not only about the dead, but also about the living. A much voiced belief among Jews is “that he who saves just one individual is as if he has saved the entire world.” Because each individual is a world unto himself. If we honor the living, that outlook must also extend to those who have passed. We must honor the dead if life is to mean anything. And, I must say that Jews have developed an incredibly meaningful and comforting way of dealing with the departed. The way we do so is to focus on the ones most affected by the individual’s death, especially his or her closest loved ones. 

Grieving is important — we allocate seven days to “sit shiva” and focus on our loss while friends and acquaintances visit us to offer words of comfort, to impress on us that we are not alone, and to pray. And after that period of mourning we are commanded to continue living and not grieve so much as to not function. There are milestones for re-entering normal life: the 30 days mourning period and the recital of kaddish until the one-year anniversary of the departed’s death.

We cannot bring this young man back to life, but we can ease the grief of his loved ones by demonstrating how important it is to us as Jews that he be given a fitting and proper burial in his own land, the one he gave his life for. Because Israel is such a small country, Israelis are united when it comes to retrieving hostages both living and deceased and will go to extraordinary lengths to do so, as we have with Ran Gvili and the other 27 deceased hostages. 

To retrieve his remains Israeli soldiers and forensic specialists had to exhume and test about 250 bodies in a Muslim cemetery in northern Gaza. The Israeli team recovered him, not Hamas as they pledged to do as part of the 20-point peace plan.

I didn’t have the good fortune to have known Gvili. Maybe he was just ordinary, if you define “ordinary” as someone who is willing to risk his life to defend his nation. A healthy young person full of life with a radiant smile and warm eyes. Gvili was just one of too many “ordinary” Israelis.

I admit that I knew little about this far-from-ordinary individual. But here’s what I found out… Ran Gvili didn’t have to be on the frontlines on October 7. He was recuperating from a fractured shoulder and scheduled to have surgery in a few days when he got the call that he was needed. Sergeant Gvili was part of an elite police counter-terrorism tactical unit called the Yasam. He and his battalion commander helped treat and evacuate about 100 concert-goers from the Nova festival. Once they’d done what they could at the gas station where the people were hiding, Gvili insisted on returning to the Alumim Junction, where he’d been told a battle with terrorists was unfolding. Shortly after he arrived, Gvili was shot in his leg and arm and taken hostage by the Palestinian Islamic Jihad. (https://www.jns.org/idf-recovers-body-of-ran-gvili-from-gaza/)

It is believed that he died shortly afterwards from his wounds, although no one knows for sure.

Ran’s mother, Talik, in an interview with the Times of Israel described her family as “non-religious.” “We don’t observe all the commandments like religious people do,” she said. “But I light candles every Friday, we make Kiddush, and my husband and sons all put on tefillin.” (To learn more about this remarkable man, I recommend reading,“The last remaining hostage” had a name. Ran Gvili was a hero, and he merits that we know who he was. By Daniel Gordis. https://open.substack.com/pub/danielgordis/p/the-last-remaining-hostage-had-a?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Hearing this I couldn’t help but reflect on how differently those of us in the Diaspora view religion. I have many friends and some relatives who regard me as “religious” just because I light candles, make Kiddish and lately attend Shabbat services fairly regularly. I myself feel like I fall far short of what I should be doing. I’m surely not very knowledgeable about the Torah and Halacha, but I do realize that by rejecting a proper burial you are also rejecting some important Judaic principles.

In Israel, cremation is extremely rare, yet in the United States the majority of funeral arrangements now involve cremation (63%) and that number is expected to increase in the coming years. And that’s not because of a huge influx of Hindus for whom it has been accepted practice for millennia. It’s due to lower costs, environmental concerns and a lack of religion/tradition. Even Jews for whom it is expressly forbidden to destroy the body according to most Halachic authorities are deciding to be cremated upon death. Some surveys say as many as 50 percent. (I personally believe it is less).https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.cremationassociation.org/IndustryStatistics&ved=2ahUKEwjkz4C_i6ySAxUjpIkEHcjbCksQFnoECBgQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1BuPAlx4XK5253XndyS0yj

 Still here’s where Diaspora Jews and Israeli Jews reveal a deep difference. In Israel, it is extremely rare and one who is determined to cremate the remains of their next of kin will have to go to great lengths to do so. Here in the US, I wonder if those who choose to cremate even have the awareness of what it is they are giving up. How much they are in violation of the commandment to honor the dead. I can’t help but think about the many comical scenes in TV shows and movies where the deceased ashes accidentally are dropped in a garbage can, spilled or even vacuumed. Ha Ha. 

Many, if not most, Jews agree that there can be no greater violation of our legal and moral responsibilities to the body’s owner than to cremate. And in fact Chabad is dedicated to helping Jews finance the respectful burial of their loved ones no matter their means. (Why Does Judaism Forbid Cremation by Naftali Silberberg, chabad.org)

As for concern for the environment over-riding the Jewish commitment to a holy burial, one can always choose to be buried in a shroud instead of in a coffin, in this way hastening the decomposition process while still conforming to religious commandments. 

I can’t help but think how much effort went into retrieving Gvili’s body so that his family and the entire community would find solace in knowing that his final resting place would be in Israel, the land that he loved, among those who shared his deeply held principles. 

Meanwhile, here in the United States so many of our practices, values and understandings are literally going up in smoke.