‘Disconnect to Connect’: An Imperative for Our Families, Schools and Students

The phrase disconnecting in order to connect is a most powerful concept and approach in a variety of contexts. But, from an educational perspective, it suggests the need to consciously separate ourselves from the use of technology in order to come in touch with the human side of our daily lives.

As we know, there are those who firmly believe that in 2025 the use and application of technology is so paramount, essential and overarching that disconnecting from it, even for a limited period of time, can be extremely challenging and difficult. By the same token, there are others, especially in education, who are vehemently opposed to the continued use and dependency on technology (e.g. the use of smartphones) at the risk or at the expense of complete and uncompromising focus and attention on other aspects of our lives, especially our focus on education.

Either way, in light of current research in education, it is a well accepted notion that continued use and reliance on technology in order to advance our lives can be most additive, and detriment to our state of being and cognition and even to independent higher order problem solving.

Adding to this complexity are the growing number of schools that no longer permit their students to bring smartphones with them to school; and if they do bring these devices to school, end up experiencing harsh consequences. These consequences include the confiscation of these personal communications devices, or dismissal from school following several infractions.

With regard to home use, more and more parents and families have unfortunately relaxed their demands for limiting their children’s use of technology. To be sure,  several years ago with the dissemination and impact of research on cell phone use and its impact on children (see articles on “Digital Citizenship”), and parenting best practices, many more parents were a bit more stringent about their children’s use of  electronic devices. Today however, we are unfortunately beginning to see  the pendulum swing in the opposite direction; and more parents are relaxing their requirements for cellphone use.

This reality may be due in part to a growing number of young parents who are now more time-starved and consequently are no longer able to provide the required guidance and supervision of their children. In addition, we are now witnessing  increased social and peer pressure on our children to use these devices for digital gaming and social media posts, as well as a host of other societal pressures.

This reality is now exacerbated with the advent and more recent use of AI (“artificial intelligence”) technology – a phenomenon which has profound impact on our lives and on society at large.

In order to more fully understand and appreciate the impact of digital technology on our lives, one has only to observe the number of families eating together in restaurants. Just observe how so many families sitting at the table together have their eyes totally focused and glued to their smartphones. Could the information they are all receiving via email, texts and social media posts possibly be more important than a quite peaceful meal together with family? The answer is obvious.

Just think about this example, and many others which exemplify how technology has taken over or preoccupied our lives – especially smartphone use. What used to be invaluable quiet down-time time with with family over a meal in a restaurant, has now evolved into a totally impersonal gathering, totally disconnected from one another.

Another example which can have a far more detrimental short and long term impact on child development, behavior, family social interaction and cohesiveness is when children returns home from school and is craving for a parent’s undivided attention. This child is then confronted with a father who is continuously engaged in business conversations from home on a cell phone and a mother who just cannot stop chatting with friends and family – at the expense of spending quality time with the child or children.

As a side, if these family dynamics continue in the home thereby ignoring the child’s craving for social interaction, it will in all probability encourage  the child to default into his or her comfort zone by also gravitating to non-human interaction though the continued use of gaming devises and smartphone use as well. This my friends is not a healthy outcome for the child or family.

It should be obvious by now to understanding why it is important to disconnect.  Therefore, the first challenge for us is to develop a compelling case as to why disconnecting is essential.

Why Disconnect?

There are essentially four, (and even more ) compelling reasons to disconnect.

They may include:

1. Recharging and self-care: disconnecting from overwhelming stimuli in order to rejuvenate and prioritize well-being;
2. Improving focus and productivity: stepping away from distractions in order to concentrate on whats truly essential or important;
3. Enhancing relationships: disconnecting from technological distractions in order to develop, forge and nurture meaningful connections with others;
4. Fostering creativity and reflection: allowing more time for introspection, imagination and innovative thinking and reflection.

The second challenge is how to disconnect?

The challenge of how to assist our children and young adults to disconnect is one which is truly difficult and challenging, especially for those who are greatly dependent on the technology for school, work and/or social interaction.

Several ways to disconnect from our devices, especially smartphones, laptops and digital gaming devices are by setting boundaries through establishing tech-free zones or times  during the day such as  during meals, downtime (recess and vacations) or before retiring for the evening. In fact, the worst time to view blue screens on our phones and devices is right before bedtime. This blue-light exposure stimulates the brain which makes it very difficult for the brain to reach a restful state conducive to sleep.

After setting boundaries, the next level relates to practicing mindfulness by engaging in activities that promote presence, such as deeper higher order Torah learning and study , reflection and  and simple walking.

The scheduling of downtime by allocating time for relaxation, reading, learning and hobbies is also essential.

The fourth way is to actually plan what I refer to as digital detoxes. This suggests considering device-free days or weekends to reset, recharge and reboot our minds and to minimize technological stimulation, manipulation and interdependence.

Finally, the fifth challenge relates to the challenge of when to disconnect.

Here too, there are essentially three times or periods for disconnecting.

They include:

1. During family or social gatherings by prioritizing face-to-face interactions with others.
2. Prior to bedtime by avoiding screen and stimulating activities to promote better and deeper sleep;
3. When feeling overwhelmed by taking a step back and recharging before returning to specific challenges or tasks.

Recommendations for Schools

In order for our schools to provide leadership in this critical area, it is essential that they adopt and enforce  policies regarding  the use of all electronic/digital devises.

These policies should restrict the use of smartphones, smartwatches or other smart devices. In fact, all students, (if indeed they must  take  their cell phones to school for security purposes), must check their phones into an assigned  secured space located in the school’s administrative office. They can only retrieve these devices after school is dismissed.

Failure to comply with these policies or using these devices during school time or on school campus will result in the confiscation of the devices. These devices will only be returned in person to the parent of the students.

If these infractions continue for a second time,  the student will be subject to a required detention followed by dismissal and/or possible expulsion, depending upon circumstances.

All schools must develop a zero tolerance policy from the get-go. No excuses, no do-overs and no apologies.

If this policy sounds harsh, its because it is.

Compromising these school policies can have a very detriment impact on students, their academic performance and welfare…in addition to their impact on other classmates.

As the use of communications technology becomes more prevalent in our homes, schools and society, it will be absolutely essential for us  discover ways of controlling it…so that it does not end up controlling  us.

Next Steps

One of the most daunting unknowns for the foreseeable future will be how our schools and communities will use and apply AI and AI filters in their respective institutions and their  environments.

Much has been written about the impact of AI on teaching and learning. Nevertheless, very little is now known about its long-term impact on cognition, emotions, behavior and social interaction.

It is for this very reason (among others) that our Jewish educational communities must be very careful and diligent about its uses and potential misuse.

As we move forward into the future, I would like to humbly urge our educational communities, including day schools, yeshivot and teacher training institutions  to take this challenge seriously.

This will require significant pre-service and in-service training and professional develop for our senior educational leaders, teachers and teacher specialists. It will also require continued parent education in order to sensitize and prepare parents for the wide array of unknowns regarding the impact of technology on our children.

Knowing when and how to disconnect from technology  may at first blush appear to be somewhat obvious. But as we know, when it comes to technology, enough is unknown to caution all of us to be careful, diligent and circumspect regarding its evolving use.

Like every new and evolving man-made innovation,  we may not necessarily know everything about the impact of technology on our children. But one thing is certain….we don’t know what we do not know. This reality should be enough for us to be extremely careful,  diligent and cautious.

Finally, in light of the daunting challenges presented in this blog, it is suggested that all of our schools create a technology strategic plan with safeguards, requirements and policies.

At the end of the day, we will all be tested by the manner in which we disconnect to connect – an endeavor which is essential for our future growth and development and for the health and well being  of our students and children..