A Divine Encounter Parashat Vayishlach Part 2
The following essay is a revised version of the d’var Torah I posted here in 2024 . This year I have re-edited it also into two parts.
Part 2: The Only Thing to Fear…
The midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 78:9) suggests that when Eisav saw Jacob he tried to bite his neck like a vampire. Some Jewish traditions believed in a form of vampires, human-like people that transformed into certain animals and fed off of human blood. People in earlier eras had a lot of fears and superstitions which, today, make fun stories, but we don’t get anxious about such creatures. This is an example of how our collective consciousness has already evolved to be less fearful than the past.
Sometimes, before we can see the divine in someone, another step might be needed to help us reach that level, like Jacob having to wrestle with a “man”. There are different interpretations of what this “wrestling” meant. Was he wrestling a version of himself to reveal qualities within himself to see Eisav differently or was he defeating the “guardian angel” of Eisav? I think both of these interpretations can be true at the same time.
A particularly helpful notion when dealing with other people is remembering that others are a reflection of us, so in a way, they are us: the expectations we have about them and our own lives, in general. While we cannot forcefully destroy or remove something from our own character or that of another person, what we can defeat is fear. We defeat a constricted consciousness about how we view God’s creation. There is only God, and sometimes, we can use anchors to remember that, such as a word about yourself or name – in this case Israel (meaning wrestling with God and different versions of that name).
The angel refuses to reveal its identity, because doing so would undermine the very purpose of Jacob’s struggle: to overcome himself and prepare to meet his brother anew, as if “shedding his skin.” What he wrestled with was not another person, but the shadow of his own fear. Right before Jacob’s wrestling partner leaves Jacob, he gives Jacob the new name Israel.
While, as I said, this name literally references his struggle with the Divine, other, more creative, interpretations of this name are: “God prevails”, “Prince of God” or “upright toward God,” which I think are particularly appropriate for those who are able to see God everywhere.
Most importantly, Jacob was in the process of becoming fearless, and therefore deserving of the new name Israel. It starts with himself. As the character that represents “truth”, he (and we) see truth when the mind is not constricted by fear.
Before Jacob meets his actual brother, he sends him many gifts, but maybe this is more for himself: to remember the love he once had for this man he shared a womb with and has not seen in years. After the gifts and the angel-wrestling, Eisav is approaching Jacob, who prepares his family for his brother’s arrival. He is concerned that Eisav may be a threat, and as a precaution, places his family members in order of least importance to him so his most-loved, Rachel and Joseph, have the greatest chance of survival. At face value, this doesn’t appear nice, but, in my opinion, it has deeper meaning. In life, we make choices of priorities because the more heartfelt we are, the more power we have. There is nothing that helps us get over fear and transform ourselves more than focusing on the love we feel so that it is greater than our fear.
Coming back to the original pasuk that I cited for this parasha, the commentators Pardes Yosef and Penei David say that it is forbidden to literally look at the face of a wicked person. My immediate thought was the psychological concept of “mirror neurons”, which suggests that our bodies tend to imitate what we see in others.
Or maybe, it can work the other way around, and a wicked person looking at the face of a good person can be influenced for the better. Perhaps, these commentaries can also be understood to mean that looking at the face of someone we love can heal us. In any case, not looking at someone’s face directly can be a metaphor for trying to see how they contribute to a divine plan that we cannot fully comprehend.
Being heartfelt and showing high respect to someone, as Jacob does in the story of his reconciliation with Eisav, are both consequences of recognizing that Eisav, as well, contains part of Elohim. It doesn’t matter what happened between the two brothers in the past. I have heard that most conflicts are ego-based, from both sides.
Seeing the best in a situation and in people can become automatic. We do not decide the way in which this happens; the other person will feel inspired to keep showing us their best. Life is designed to mirror us and multiply what is good.
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I talk about this more in my upcoming events and writing so feel free to get into contact.
