Do middot actually matter?

There’s a quote from Vayikrah Rabbah on the walls of the Ramaz Lobby:

“Good character is a prerequisite for Torah.”

The message is literal; according to our sages, there were 26 generations who demonstrated good character before the laws of the Torah were given. But it’s also moral: begin with teaching menschlichkeit. Prioritize middot. The laws, the minutiae, are important too. But start with the rules of how to treat others; refined and respectful language; generosity and responsibility. Teach kids, first, to understand right and wrong in their interactions with one another.

Which is why I was startled, and then upset, to see The Jewish Vue’s recent post in which it offered a platform to praise a man whose middot were anything but good: Meir Kahane.

If we make this about Kahane’s political and racial remarks, we will never finish this post. Unpacked’s Noam Weissman has an excellent podcast episode in which he details the early events that led to the development of Kahane’s ideologies. I think Rabbi Moshe Feinstein zt”l responded to Kahane’s activities most accurately and succinctly: “you are putting Jewish lives in danger.”

But let’s take it a step further.

Meir Kahane cheated on his wife. He lied and used an alias. He had an affair with a young, gentile model. He set a wedding date with her; she was pregnant with his baby. All of this while he had a wife and four kids at home. And instead of breaking up with her in person, with any semblance of decency, he sent her a letter. When she jumped off the Queensboro Bridge two days later, falling 135 feet into the East River, she told her friend it was because of him.

She died the following morning from her injuries.

He then used her name to fundraise.

***

There’s been a real loss of derech eretz embraced by Western culture in recent years. Civility, once an asset in politics, is now a handicap. Gone are the days of George W. Bush and his family cordially showing the Obamas and their girls around the White House. The media is frantic for stories of mudslinging politicians, of the worst kinds of scandal.

And so it is not surprising that we find ourselves at a moment when Meir Kahane is being resurrected and celebrated anew. But this idea from Vayikrah Rabbah offers us a framework for our priorities.

There are other conversations here, about the dangers of idealization and lionization in general, and about appreciating one’s public persona while decrying their personal proclivities or moral failures. There are other figures to speak about, too: Donald Trump and Itamar Ben Gvir; Shlomo Carlebach and Woody Allen.

Every one of these conversations feels like a punch in the gut.

Because every day I teach my students that middot matter more than anything else.

But the adults around them need to show them they believe that, too.

***

Every story I grew up with was of gedolim who were so gentle, so careful, that they were upset about the prospect of accidentally killing insects. Rav Moshe Feinstein once had his finger slammed into a car door by his student; loath to embarrass the student, he was silent for the entire ride. The Lubavitcher Rebbe was known for his attentiveness and warmth to every person who approached him, even when he was delayed or had other appointments. Rebbetzin Henny Machlis’s love for guests was so profound that she continued to invite them into her home even after all of her jewelry was stolen.

First, derech eretz. First, menschlichkeit.

Even if you think Kahane was right (and please God, let’s not even go there) —

Meir Kahane was not a gadol.

Meir Kahane did terrible things to other people.

We can’t teach our kids about menschlichkeit and middot and derech eretz and embrace Kahane as a role model.

And if we do: we will one day need to answer to a Higher Power for it.