Does honor still matter?

Honor is one of the most enduring and complex concepts in human history. These days, one would be hard-pressed to find people who truly believe in honor, let alone adhere to the principles of honor. Sure, a lot of people call themselves honorable, a lot of people call themselves good. It doesn’t mean anything. By their deeds you shall know them.

The concept of honor is, indeed, the subject of endless studies and speculation. A seemingly simple concept of keeping your word, honor is actually one of the most complex concepts out there, depending on the cultural and historical context. Some people, like me, are pragmatists and they don’t follow some kind of honor code, no matter what. Then, there are others, who value their honor above all else and once you insult them, you’re basically dead to them, and there’s no turning back. Is this a sound strategy? I’ll let you be the judge of that. My musings aren’t based on an idealistic vision of how I’d like things to be – rather, I describe things as they are or appear to be.

Throughout history, hardly news, men were the ones who had or were ascribed honor. By who? Good question. By other men, even by God or some other unknown force controlling the universe. They were to defend their honor and that of their nation. Honor as we understand it today stems from the whole idea of chivalry. And it’s so easy to cartoonize chivalry, if you will. I used to know a guy back in high school, he was intellectually impaired but not too badly, who just had to kiss the hand of every woman he came across. And no, there was no asking, he just did it. It was funny and sad at the same time because he didn’t have the awareness of how comical it was (like a Polish nobleman circa 1680). He also wanted to get a driver’s license which makes me laugh as I type these words. Needless to say, he wasn’t exactly driver’s license material. But thanks to my rich experiences with people like him, I’ve developed a lot of tolerance for all sorts of behaviors, mental disorders and defects.  We were laughing with him, and his shenanigans, never at him.

Now, women didn’t have their own honor. Their honor was protected by men. Hence the whole, rather demeaning, idea of a damsel in distress who ought to stay away from serious topics and who constantly needs rescuing. A woman’s honor, if we can talk about such a concept, was about ensuring the continuity of the bloodline belonging to a particular nation. Whether she lied, or used anyone in the process, and so on, didn’t really matter that much as long as she ensured the bloodline wasn’t tainted by external influences, i.e. by members of other nations or groups, unless there was an arrangement to form an alliance between two nations or groups. While having no honor as such, women are stigmatized and punished more for certain behaviors. For example, alcohol abuse doesn’t exactly spell ”wife material.”

With no honor to speak of and limited agency, a woman’s word didn’t mean much, and, sadly, it seems that even today, a woman’s prayer isn’t taken all-that-seriously by Hashem or so some say or want to believe to justify their sexism. An emasculated enemy was at times forced to expand the victor’s bloodline. By erasing the enemy’s bloodline (some even do that by invoking Hashem’s help to curse the enemies) and then forcing the defeated enemy to expand and prolong the victor’s bloodline, the whole psychological warfare scenario was the ultimate expression of dominance over the defeated. We’re trying to deny these realizations, and customs, but they haven’t gone away, they are still all around us in different forms, maybe not as glaringly visible, but still there, especially now with so many conflicts and wars turning back the clock. While civilization provides a veneer of culture, the rules appear to be the same underneath for centuries, regardless of which alternate reality we’re looking at. It’s a disturbing realization to some and an obvious state of affairs to others. There’s hardly anyone out there who’d be surprised that’s how things are when we look past illusions. The more things change, the more they stay the same, it seems, no matter how much we’d like to pretend we’ve changed, advanced or reformed. I wonder what Scrooge McDuck, my childhood hero, thinks about honor. Poor Donald can’t catch a break. His richest-duck-in-the-world uncle never took him seriously.

Here you have an example of using honor in a sadistically smart psychological warfare scenario to pressure British men into going to the front during World War I.

Undated ms postcard (1 folio advertising the New Empire Club) sent to E A Brooks, a Great Western Railway porter at Bath, allegedly by the ‘Scoutmistress, Bath Girl Scouts’, offering him a position as ‘washer-up’ in view of the fact that ‘you cannot be a man not to join the army’.

Clever, indeed. Whoever was behind it. The Scoutmistress? Hm. Or someone posing as one.

Cultists often weaponize honor. They will hide behind honor and hoodwink you into believing they are on a crusade to improve society. Also, just because, say, a martial arts group is called, Ken Lee – Kung Fu Master, doesn’t mean there isn’t a cult behind it. Be careful, not paranoid. Sometimes, not even with cultists but with moralizing types, you’ve got to be blunt. ”Dear moralizing moron, you won’t be judging me and lecturing me. You don’t know me. Now get lost.” Then block them. Arguing with them is pointless, they just want your attention and energy. The more I’m alive in this world, the more I get Larry David. No wonder he has Polish roots. We Poles are known for being annoyingly direct at times. Just how we are. I can definitely see a Polish person saying what Larry is saying.