Don’t Allow Your Blessings to Become Curses: Naso
We consider talent and ability to be a blessing and it certainly is. But such gifts can also be a curse as the 19th century sage, Rabbi Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin points out. Samson, (whose birth story is narrated in the Haftorah) is a prime example of how a blessing can also become a curse.
Typically, during the biblical era, one who had a yearning to increase his piety would voluntarily expect upon himself the Nazarite vow for a limited period of time. During this period, the individual would live an ascetic lifestyle, abstaining from wine, refrain from cutting his hair as well as having contact with the dead. But Samson was the exception to the rule. Even before he was conceived, his parents were told by an angel of God that their son would live his entire life as a Nazarite. As the young Samson grew, the divine spirit resonated throughout the land, for the land had been blessed through Samson. The only problem was that Samson viewed the blessing as a curse. This ultimately led to the mighty man’s downfall.
Samson’s Philistine wife, Delilah, repeatedly asked Samson to reveal the secret of his strength, hoping that this would allow her countrymen to finally capture their nemesis. Samson told Deliah that if she bound him with seven wet twines, he would lose his strength. As a Philistine ambush party lay in wait nearby, she bound her husband and cried out, “the Philistines are upon you Samson.” Samson snapped free of the twine with ease making it impossible for the Philistines to capture him. A dejected Delilah admonished her husband for his mendacity and again asked him to reveal the secret of his strength. Samson once again lied, explaining that he would lose his strength if he were to be bound by new ropes. As soon as Delilah called “the Philistines are upon you Samson,” he snapped the ropes demonstrating his invincibility. Again, Deliah rebuked her husband for misleading her and yet again, he dissembled, claiming that if she weaved the seven locks of hair on his head unto a weaving rod he would lose his might. Delilah fastened his hair with the peg of a loom but when Samson awoke to Delilah’s shout of “the Philistines are upon you Samson,” he tore out the peg of the loom and weaving rod with ease to the disappointment of the Philistines.
Day after day Deliah tormented Samson claiming that his lies were proof that he didn’t love her. Eventually, Samson became worn down and told her the truth, at least as he saw it. He explained that he was born a Nazarite and that if his head were shaven, he would lose his strength.
Why in the world would Samson reveal his secret to Delilah, knowing that she would shave his head and he would be captured by the dreaded Philistines? The answer is that Samson viewed his God given gift of strength, not as a blessing, but as a curse. Samson did not choose to become strong; he was born strong. As is often the case, children who are identified as exceptionally talented come to resent their talents because of the expectations which accompany them. So too, Samson came to resent his gift. Because of the strength God had endowed upon Samson, he was thrust into a position of leadership as a shofet (which is translated as a “judge” but in this case means a strong man) and tasked with liberating his people from Philistine subjugation.
Samson’s demise was not only tragic, but curious as well. Upon his capture, Samson was taken to a great Philistine Hall and stationed between two pillars as the mob could mock Israel’s defeated hero. Samson called out to God asking him to return his strength one last time in order to exact vengeance upon the Philistines. Before God could even answer, Samson pushed down on the two pillars his hands were resting on, causing the roof to collapse, killing himself along with his tormentors.
The odd thing is that Samson never waited for God to respond to his request, he simply pushed the two pillars down. The fact that Samson had the strength to push the pillars down even before God could answer his request demonstrated that Samson’s strength had actually never departed, even after his hair had been cut. By allowing his hair to be cut, Samson was in essence, spurning his God given gift and abdicating his role as the leader of his people. Though he used his strength one last time to defeat his enemies, his story nevertheless, is tragic and cautionary.
It serves as a reminder to parents, teachers and coaches that a balance must be struck when trying to get kids to live up to their potential. Low expectations will likely result in underperformance, while applying too much pressure, may well backfire and result in burn out.
I remember hearing a child psychologist explain that he had worked with a father who believed his middle school aged son was a gifted writer. Whenever the boy showed his father his writing assignments, the father would rip them up and chastise the boy for not living up to his potential. Though he believed he was motivating his son, the psychologist warned the father that rather than bringing out the best in his son, he was putting his son on a path to becoming a high school dropout. Fortunately, the father heeded the advice.
Had the psychologist not intervened and the son indeed dropped out of high school, the boy would have “cut off his nose to spite his face” so to speak. It is certainly tempting to spite those who go overboard in attempting to motivate us to cultivate our talents. Yet, if we surrender to that desire, we spite ourselves as well and tragically turn our blessings into curses. By smartly aiding others in cultivating their talents and by cultivating our own, we choose a life of blessing.
