Embracing Holidays

As children, holiday times are often magical.  Whether we recall our own childhood holidays or those we’ve spent with our children, the joy of gifts and laughter, treats and light are what we remember.

But, as we get older and, as is the case for many of our older adults, holiday times are often bittersweet. We think about those we have loved who are no longer with us, about relationships that may be difficult, about what we have lost rather than what remains.

For the older adults in your life, one approach that may be meaningful is to ask them to share their recollections, what holidays were like for them in the past and what they particularly enjoyed.  This conversation alone may be positive and uplifting and there is a chance that you’ll find some other information that can help make this year’s holidays bright.  Perhaps they will tell you how much they enjoyed making special cookies or other treats for the holiday.  You can find a way to make that activity part of your celebrations, modifying as you need to engage as many generations as possible.  Maybe they will tell you that they remembered driving around to see holiday lights at night. This, too, can still happen with a little planning and a little patience. Holiday songs? Opening packages together? All of these are things that can be shared.

Connecting with family can also make the holidays special for an elder.  In today’s world, families are far flung across the country and around the world. But a video call or sending a video message can make the difference between a lonely holiday and a new special memory.  What matters is feeling included and valued and not forgotten.  Families can video chat while lighting Chanukah candles and share the experience across the miles. They can even have dinner together, sharing the time through the gift of virtual meetings.

This time of year feels, and is, very hectic. School schedules and ends of semesters, holiday parties, preparation and shopping, it can feel as if pleasure takes a back seat to the work that needs to be done.  But in the hustle and chaos, take a moment to remember the older adults in your life.  Take a moment to connect with them and to make their holiday special.  It will make yours far more special as well.